Saturday, March 31, 2012
h8 the player not the game (2008)
this is told by the female perspective.. a guy ain't the only one who plays folks.. girls can and have played just as bad, especially this one
Just a pawn,
make your move,
take your place,
stake your claim,
but u can never win,
you're just a player in,
his sick game,
it's not my place 2 say this,
because i don't know what i'm sayin,
sure we talked a bit,
but it really didn't mean shit,
because He was the 1 I was Playin,
I was talking to several others at the same time,
while implying that HE was the only 1,
I whored myself out on a message board,
And it was HE who stopped fucking with me,
i didn't say i didn't want him,
he left for a year and went away,
and in that time,
i got on with my life,
and now i diss him at every opportunity,
He didn't move across the country for me,
but i did move across the country for 2,
so when i say u're a pawn,
i know what i'm talking about,
because i've played my share fools,
so don't get too involved,
after all, i wouldn't want u 2 get played, u see,
the only time u should ever get played..
is when u get played by,
me
ef you see kay
don't be afraid to say the word.. don't be afraid of it's
affect.. my spine tingles my juices flow, and i'm embarrased but i become
erect.. when u say it, it send tingles in places that i didn't know could tingle
and i'm orgasmic all at once and in a single second,
u could peel me right off the ceiling.. when u say it.
and say it with feeling
like a clover it's made of 4... sometimes it's love but sometimes it's war.. sometimes u have 2 do it to try ur luck... but the best thing indeed is knowing it's just for me and no other gets u to say it ...
when u say ... ef you see kay...
u could peel me right off the ceiling.. when u say it.
and say it with feeling
like a clover it's made of 4... sometimes it's love but sometimes it's war.. sometimes u have 2 do it to try ur luck... but the best thing indeed is knowing it's just for me and no other gets u to say it ...
when u say ... ef you see kay...
itouch
staring at this monitor,
knowing u're on the other side,
makes me smile, yet angry,
that i can't climb thru,
and get 2 u,
looking out the window,
knowing we can see the same moon,
so many things have to be taken care of,
but if u want me,
we'll be 2gether very soon,
take a deep breath,
knowing our atmosphere's the same,
glancing at the stars,
i swear they're spelling out your name,
then i see u, in my mind,
and i know u're smiling 2,
that's the comfort that i find,
while we're alone here just us 2,
so put your hands on the screen,
interlock your fingers with mine,
we'll connect like your ipod..
u touch..
then
i touch
knowing u're on the other side,
makes me smile, yet angry,
that i can't climb thru,
and get 2 u,
looking out the window,
knowing we can see the same moon,
so many things have to be taken care of,
but if u want me,
we'll be 2gether very soon,
take a deep breath,
knowing our atmosphere's the same,
glancing at the stars,
i swear they're spelling out your name,
then i see u, in my mind,
and i know u're smiling 2,
that's the comfort that i find,
while we're alone here just us 2,
so put your hands on the screen,
interlock your fingers with mine,
we'll connect like your ipod..
u touch..
then
i touch
telling myself ( a rewrite)
I keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
That leaving is the best thing 2 do,
So I keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
That I'll be able 2 make it thru,
i keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
that i'm stronger than i thought i could be,
i keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
that things will all work out, just u wait and see,
but i don't know if i believe,
that man in the mirror who looks just like me,
i keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
that tomorrow will be easier than 2day,
but in telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
doesn't get me any closer 2 believin' that i'm gonna be okay,
why does it have 2 be so damn hard,
2 make things work,
when u've been on ur knees,
prayin' 2 god,
beggin' 4 a hand and a little bit of mercy,
and sayin' pretty pretty please,
so for now i keep tellin' myself,
2 keep tellin' myself,
u'll look back at this one day and u will smile,
i keep tellin' myself,
2 keep tellin' myself,
no matter the ending, the ride was all worth while,
she's gonna make it, and so will i,
happiness will not be as hard as we think 2 come by,
but i don't know if i can believe,
that man in the mirror who looks just like me,
cuz he hurts just like me,
and he cries just like me,
and he can't breathe,
he can't see,
there's a river of tears blocking his view,
so why the hell should i trust,
in the strength he's sayin' i've got,
when he doesn't look 2 be very strong at all?
i keep tellin' myself
2 keep tellin' myself,
that everything will work out in the end,
i just keep tellin' myself,
2 keep tellin' myself,
2 keep convincin' everybody else in the world,
cuz i'm not 2 sure that i'll be convinced,
even if i keep tellin' myself,
2 keep tellin' myself....
2 keep telling myself,
That leaving is the best thing 2 do,
So I keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
That I'll be able 2 make it thru,
i keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
that i'm stronger than i thought i could be,
i keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
that things will all work out, just u wait and see,
but i don't know if i believe,
that man in the mirror who looks just like me,
i keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
that tomorrow will be easier than 2day,
but in telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
doesn't get me any closer 2 believin' that i'm gonna be okay,
why does it have 2 be so damn hard,
2 make things work,
when u've been on ur knees,
prayin' 2 god,
beggin' 4 a hand and a little bit of mercy,
and sayin' pretty pretty please,
so for now i keep tellin' myself,
2 keep tellin' myself,
u'll look back at this one day and u will smile,
i keep tellin' myself,
2 keep tellin' myself,
no matter the ending, the ride was all worth while,
she's gonna make it, and so will i,
happiness will not be as hard as we think 2 come by,
but i don't know if i can believe,
that man in the mirror who looks just like me,
cuz he hurts just like me,
and he cries just like me,
and he can't breathe,
he can't see,
there's a river of tears blocking his view,
so why the hell should i trust,
in the strength he's sayin' i've got,
when he doesn't look 2 be very strong at all?
i keep tellin' myself
2 keep tellin' myself,
that everything will work out in the end,
i just keep tellin' myself,
2 keep tellin' myself,
2 keep convincin' everybody else in the world,
cuz i'm not 2 sure that i'll be convinced,
even if i keep tellin' myself,
2 keep tellin' myself....
Telling Myself
I keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
That leaving is the best thing 2 do,
So I keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
That I'll be able 2 make it thru,
So many faces,places 2 go,
So many games & lies,
how do u know what's really real,
Lies upon lies u can count them 4 hours,
4evers turn in2 1 night stands,
Nothings like it used 2 be,
So I keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
That leaving is the best thing 2 do,
And I keep telling myself,
2 keep telling myself,
That I'll be able 2 make it thru,
But that man in the mirror,
Don't always believe me,
He's scared and he's nervous,
He don't know how 2 be free,
We say it's the best,
But is this the best,
I keep telling myself 2 smile my best smile,
2 be strong 4 once,
It's gonna take a while,
Lies upon lies,
U can count them 4 hours,
Nothing's like it used 2 be...
Thursday, March 29, 2012
One Last Time
The inevitable is here,
In ur eyes I see the tears,
Who would've thought,
It would be over after all these years,
We gave it all we had,
Please try not 2 feel 2 bad,
U'll be alright, I know u'll make it,
U've nothing at all 2 fear,
And tho we couldn't make it thru,
Forever, I don't regret a day I had with u,
And tho we're at the end,
U'll always be my closest friend,
So 4 one last time 2night
Let's hold on with all our might,
We could fuss,we could fight,
We both know we oughta do this right, instead,
2Night, don't turn down nothing but the bed,
Give it all we got what the hell,
We've got nothing 2 lose,
2Morrow we can separate,
But 2night, one last touch,
4 old time's sake,
If u like it, say it,
Ur will be done,
Try 2 have some fun,
let urself come undone,
4 One last time 2night,
Let's hold on with all our might,
We could fuss and we could fight,
We both know we gotta do this right instead,
2Night, please don't turn nothing down but the bed,
The inevitable can be here tomorrow, 2night, let's send it off in...bed...
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
When it Rains...
"i've seen the future and it will be...i've seen the future and it works"
Well, i sit here writing this blog with mixed emotions. After 15 almost 16 shaky years of marriage, the wife and i are calling it quits. We have split up before, but this time, we have sat down and divided "stuff" and both have gotten different places to live. The moving process is happening during the next week, and honestly, i'm very nervous. I've never been out on my own, and i will be sharing a residence and a year lease with my baby sis. We will be staying in a house that is about 5 minutes from my job, and 20 minutes from my kids. Everything is calm in the current house. We are getting along and co habitating quite well. I never thought this day would ACTUALLY come, as we have been thru just about everything a marriage can go thru, and for it to come to this, is heart breaking. i will put my Gloria Gaynor under roos on and I will survive. I am not the first heart broken, I am not the first lonely person. My marriage isn't the first to succomb to defeat. My wife is my best friend, she knows all there is to know about me and she will hopefully always be my friend. I know that sounds awesome in theory, but in real life, it may not pan out as such. I know my kids will be okay, because i am not going to be absent in their lives and i will have them with me as much as possible. Their mom is a wonderful mother to them and her family is all over this area, and very supportive of them as well, so they will be fine. My writings may be few and far for a while, till i get a computer. it seems my car's engine decided to start knocking and i am gonna have to finance another car and i won't be able to afford another computer for a while. When it rains it pours.
Well, i sit here writing this blog with mixed emotions. After 15 almost 16 shaky years of marriage, the wife and i are calling it quits. We have split up before, but this time, we have sat down and divided "stuff" and both have gotten different places to live. The moving process is happening during the next week, and honestly, i'm very nervous. I've never been out on my own, and i will be sharing a residence and a year lease with my baby sis. We will be staying in a house that is about 5 minutes from my job, and 20 minutes from my kids. Everything is calm in the current house. We are getting along and co habitating quite well. I never thought this day would ACTUALLY come, as we have been thru just about everything a marriage can go thru, and for it to come to this, is heart breaking. i will put my Gloria Gaynor under roos on and I will survive. I am not the first heart broken, I am not the first lonely person. My marriage isn't the first to succomb to defeat. My wife is my best friend, she knows all there is to know about me and she will hopefully always be my friend. I know that sounds awesome in theory, but in real life, it may not pan out as such. I know my kids will be okay, because i am not going to be absent in their lives and i will have them with me as much as possible. Their mom is a wonderful mother to them and her family is all over this area, and very supportive of them as well, so they will be fine. My writings may be few and far for a while, till i get a computer. it seems my car's engine decided to start knocking and i am gonna have to finance another car and i won't be able to afford another computer for a while. When it rains it pours.
Lost and Found
i haven't heard a song so honestly haunting and so beautiful, this is how a lot of us have allowed ourselves to become, at the hands of others...
Watch "Lianne La Havas | Lost & Found (Official Video)" on YouTube
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Yes
me and the baddest man on the planet,
share the same address,
walk thru a warzone,
without a helmet or vest,
ask anyone if i'm the best,
their answer is yes,
i bring drama and stress,
to the reynold rappers in the game,
they turn pale with fear,
at the mention of my name,
i make moves like a boss,
every move is annointed,
i was blessed by GOD,
from his own mouth i'm appointed,
destroy mc's in a bundle,
never one at a time,
there's a long ladder 2 success,
and i ain't tryin' to climb,
cuz i ain't sellin' out,
i ain't kissin' ass,
u wanna see me on the pop charts?
nah, i think i'll pass,
but while we on the subject,
i'm a hafta bear my heart man,
gotta send a NOJUSTICENOPEACE,
for the family of Trayvion Martin,
and if i go 2 florida,
here's one thing 2 remember,
in my eye there's a glimmer man,
Got 2 closed fists for a COWARD named Zimmerman,
U better have a gun and a whole fuckin' army,
cuz if i see u on the streets,
it's gonna take at least that 2 stop me..
any questions?
me and the baddest man on the planet,
share the same address,
walk thru a warzone,
without a helmet or vest,
ask anyone if i'm the best,
their answer is yes,
share the same address,
walk thru a warzone,
without a helmet or vest,
ask anyone if i'm the best,
their answer is yes,
i bring drama and stress,
to the reynold rappers in the game,
they turn pale with fear,
at the mention of my name,
i make moves like a boss,
every move is annointed,
i was blessed by GOD,
from his own mouth i'm appointed,
destroy mc's in a bundle,
never one at a time,
there's a long ladder 2 success,
and i ain't tryin' to climb,
cuz i ain't sellin' out,
i ain't kissin' ass,
u wanna see me on the pop charts?
nah, i think i'll pass,
but while we on the subject,
i'm a hafta bear my heart man,
gotta send a NOJUSTICENOPEACE,
for the family of Trayvion Martin,
and if i go 2 florida,
here's one thing 2 remember,
in my eye there's a glimmer man,
Got 2 closed fists for a COWARD named Zimmerman,
U better have a gun and a whole fuckin' army,
cuz if i see u on the streets,
it's gonna take at least that 2 stop me..
any questions?
me and the baddest man on the planet,
share the same address,
walk thru a warzone,
without a helmet or vest,
ask anyone if i'm the best,
their answer is yes,
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Closed Fists
i dodge no bullets,
i fear no man,
if death happens 2 come,
guess it was God's plan,
but death better come out swingin' with both fists,
cuz it's got an opponent who he don't wanna trade closed fists,
no justice no peace,
no silence, no sleep,
getcho hoodie on and get yo ass in the streets,
ain't no reason u ain't got of your ass & took charge in,
the protests of the motherfucker that killed Trayvion Martin,
the cops ain't investigatin to their fullest extent,
that this killer ain't in jail is a bunch of fuckin' bullshit,
young kid with a hoodie and some skittles in his hand,
killed by a coward with a gun in his hand,
i don't understand the hold up with the facts,
wait.. yeah i do, young Trayvion is black,
if the roles were reversed it'd be a public lynching,
now can u see why i'm standin' here bitching,
republicans and democrats discracing mr. Martin's name,
zimmerman should be made an example of ..fuck it, treat him the same,
put him in a hoodie in an all black cell block,
hand him some skittles and watch his ass get mobbed,
Tray had skittles and gatorade, who the fuck was he gonna rob?
i'm a stand with my hoodie till the jail door closes,
speaking from my heart,
swinging with closed fists!!!
i fear no man,
if death happens 2 come,
guess it was God's plan,
but death better come out swingin' with both fists,
cuz it's got an opponent who he don't wanna trade closed fists,
no justice no peace,
no silence, no sleep,
getcho hoodie on and get yo ass in the streets,
ain't no reason u ain't got of your ass & took charge in,
the protests of the motherfucker that killed Trayvion Martin,
the cops ain't investigatin to their fullest extent,
that this killer ain't in jail is a bunch of fuckin' bullshit,
young kid with a hoodie and some skittles in his hand,
killed by a coward with a gun in his hand,
i don't understand the hold up with the facts,
wait.. yeah i do, young Trayvion is black,
if the roles were reversed it'd be a public lynching,
now can u see why i'm standin' here bitching,
republicans and democrats discracing mr. Martin's name,
zimmerman should be made an example of ..fuck it, treat him the same,
put him in a hoodie in an all black cell block,
hand him some skittles and watch his ass get mobbed,
Tray had skittles and gatorade, who the fuck was he gonna rob?
i'm a stand with my hoodie till the jail door closes,
speaking from my heart,
swinging with closed fists!!!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Solitary Confinement
Like an acrobat falling out of the sky,
This tear is scared 2 hit the ground,
Cuz it knows it's gonna die,
Soon as my heart gets the notion,
2 Start missing u,
1 drop then another then a flood,
Covering this floor and building up,
It's gonna be another long night,
Another sleepless night,
No life preserver,
No way 2 tread,
No more will 2 fight,
I'm going under instead,
Cuz I don't wanna live,
Don't wanna be in this world,
Without u,
Can't stand, can't stand this silence,
Damn it, can u say something,
Can u say u want me, u love me,
U know me.. could u hold me?
tired of this haunting hurting,
Pain in my heart,
Somebody tell me I'm worth it,
I'm so far away from perfect,
But I love with all my heart,
Speak with all my mind,
I'm not always Mr happy,
But u left me far behind,
U left my broken heart in the garage,
In the front seat of the vehicle,
Running,
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
CoMaToSe
give me a drink,
invite jack daniels to the party,
give me a couple vicodin,
let me get real sloppy,
never been drunk, or high,
or out of my sorts,
but no more "likes"
i wanna get something more,
bring on the vodka,
bring on the lime,
i want everything u got 4 me,
i want 2 go all the way this time,
maybe some everclear,
then give me the keys 2 my car,
i (burp) (cough) can drive,
i want 2 go 2 far,
i just need to lie down,
don't console me,
don't hold me close,
give me everything in your medicine cabinet,
i wanna get comatose..
i wanna get comatose...
invite jack daniels to the party,
give me a couple vicodin,
let me get real sloppy,
never been drunk, or high,
or out of my sorts,
but no more "likes"
i wanna get something more,
bring on the vodka,
bring on the lime,
i want everything u got 4 me,
i want 2 go all the way this time,
maybe some everclear,
then give me the keys 2 my car,
i (burp) (cough) can drive,
i want 2 go 2 far,
i just need to lie down,
don't console me,
don't hold me close,
give me everything in your medicine cabinet,
i wanna get comatose..
i wanna get comatose...
Schizophrenic Conversations
To differenciate "maddladd" from "christopher" i composed this piece. The idea of there being 2 people inside that had 2 different purposes intrigued me. Christopher is the caring, loving sensative guy, while Maddladd is the angry {don't take shit from anybody} type of guy who can take anything u throw at him, and throw it back twice as hard and make it hurt twice as bad. In this piece, Maddladd and Christopher have an open, honest heart to heart. This piece is about 5 years old, but still captures the moment and wonder from me everytime i read it. I did 2 rounds of Maddladd v. Christopher, for sure, the first one is always better, but i will post both of them here, and u can decide for yourself.
i present to u
SCHIZOPHRENIC CONVERSATIONS "MADDLADD V. CHRISTOPHER" ROUND 1
(christopher): man, y u always gotta keep me reliving the past?
(maddladd): cos sometimes i gotta remind your ass, that life ain't all peaches and cream, there's some serious shit u gotta deal with in between, and them lyrics u write, man u gotta be on some other shit,
cos those feeling u convey wouldn't work on the mothership, and u ain't gotta try to get these people to like u, they aren't like u, they won't Really like u...
(christopher): u say that, but some people are kind..
(maddladd): everyone's lookin for somethin maybe u're just 2 blind, to see what's in front of your face, u keep pacin, i keep your blood racin, and there ain't no erasin, the past, i'll take u back to a time when u were 10, left all alone, violated again and again, no one was there for u, how can they be now?
(christopher): if u would only slow down then u could see how, but u're too pre occupied with ruinin the inside, got me walkin on a thin line, and sometimes goin out of my mind, i thought i knew who i was then u came to the front, so how the fuck u gonna tell me what i want?!
(maddladd): what u want, maybe what u need, u brought me 2 the front, i needed 2 breathe, i say what's really on your mind, i don't hide it, don't try to fight it, not everybody's gonna like it, but i'm the truth, you're just a vision of what u could be, i'm what u should be...
(christopher): stop tryin to push me, don't play me like i'm a pussy, so what my lyrics are mushy, i think we all have a softer side, a gentle side, u treat it like a genocide..
(maddladd): a genocide, it's more like a suicide, u put your heart before your head and get it chopped off everytime, u say how u feel, they watch u drop like a stone, they break u down, and I feel it 2 the bone, if they could clone u, i'd be able 2 say this 2 your face, ball up a fist, and put u in2 place..
(christopher): u have a lot 2 say, sometimes u help me out, sometimes i need u just not 2 come out, sometimes i need 2 put myself out there and accept failure, not act cocky and cuss like a sailor, not be brash and hurt feelings unwarranted, uncalled for, why do u do that for?
(maddladd): u tried church, but god forsaked u, i accepted u, and tried 2 be kind 2 u, but u turned away, said u could do it yourself, but christopher, u're bad 4 your own health, u can't see that they're all laughing at u, they're all having the last laugh, every time u come and cry about the past, everytime u think somebody likes u, u just don't see the truth, but trust me.. i do..
(christopher): not everyone is that way, that can't be right, i just try 2 heal, and help somebody with the words i write, how can u say that i'm the butt of their jokes, u have to be wrong, maddladd!
(maddladd): i don't think so, i mean, look at the drama u surround yourself with, it's like u have a freakin death wish, u write words of love, honor,respect and 4ever, but when people get 2 know u, it's all about 4 never, and however u percieve them, is not how they percieve u, they don't like u, they don't want u, and most of all, they don't believe u! u're so transparent, even they can see thru, nobody gives to fucks about the real u, that's why i'm here, to conceal u.
(christopher): i hear u, and on some levels i feel u, but there's so many things i need 2 get out, but u keep coming back and freaking my head out, and u bring jealousy, confusion and make me second guess any and everyone, that ain't no fun, can't u just let me be me for 1ce?
(maddladd): if i let u be u, we'd both be miserable and cryin, cos your heart would always be broke, u'd always be alone, and not even tryin, u have some nice things in your heart, and your mind i know what u think about, but u live because i am the one who ain't afraid 2 bring em out, that shit u sing about?, it's only songs, nobody lives out those lyrics, and your voice.. Nobody wants 2 fuckin hear it.. and those thoughts u have of someone loving u for yourself? give it up, that's bad for your health, cos nobody wants u, nobody wants 2, and i know it's the alone that haunts u, so i'm here, u're best friend.. but sometimes u infuriate me, why do u hate me? aren't u the 1 who created me?!
(christopher): damn, i guess you're right, i did create u..and no, i don't hate u, but we need some cooperation. and stop coming on the board for these schizophrenic conversations...
ROUND 2:
(maddladd): now u've pissed me off, u cut me off, i wasn't done with u, why u gotta silence me?
(christopher): i silenced u because u were tearing my down in front of everyone, verbal violence, in essence a beat down, a public flogging, if u will and i needed to get away, time 2 process, time 2 think, time 2 see if u said the truth, and i do see a lot of christopher in u,...
(maddladd): u in me? now come on, chris, get your head out your ass, u ain't on my level son, it's like u would make love, but without me u couldn't come, because u would be on some.. the girl's gonna get pleased, and i'm like yeah, but in turn, she's gonna please me, every touch she feels, it's a 2 on 1, or is it a 2 in 1, it's all good, it's all fun, but u're not in touch with reality, your reality, is nothing but a falicy..
(christopher): it's not a falicy, in fact, u're madd and it's out of jealousy, u're hateful, and mean because u can't be like me, and it's no likely that u'll ever out write me, u wanna come 2 blows, u wanna fight me, well step in2 the ring, i'll put u down nightly, politely, i'm sayin, u don't really know me, but now u all up in here like u wanna show me, how 2 be u, how 2 be real, if being u is being real, i'd rather be pretend, cos then at least i'd have a friend...
(maddladd): ah, now u comin to my side, and u ain't never had a friend like me, u know it's true u can't deny it, so why the fuck u wanna take me on and fight it? let me out, let me get u 2 the heart of the matter? instead of u always being down and people wondering what's the matter.. u got issues man, more issues than sports illustrated, it's already been over stated, and personally christoper.. i think u're overrated..
(christopher): overrated? what is that supposed 2 mean?
(maddladd): well, did u see the word genius that have been posted since we last met? they wouldn't call u that if they knew who u really were and that's a bet, they would all shit on u, like the others have and the others will, ain't no body up in this motherfucker give a damn about how u feel,
so take that information and do with it what u will, but i'm the only motherfucker u know who tries 2 keep u real..
(christopher): keep me real? come on madd, u ain't right..i mean, didn't u read all the posts about us last night? yeah the word genius was thrown around, i said myself i wasn't worthy, and why are u so sure that all these people wanna do me dirty? and how are u a friend to me? u seem more like an enemy?
(maddladd): cos u live in denial, like chappaquiddik and a kennedy, like oj, nicole and ron goldman, it's not your fault, maybe it's just an omen, maybe u're supposes 2 be that way so i can surface, or maybe u secretly like me, and u call me up on purpose, maybe your reality sux as much as i've told u it does, and maybe u need me 2 do something positive 4 us,
(christopher): ok, so if what u're saying is true, why would i wanna expose others 2 u? u don't give a damn about feelings and who u hurt long as it ain't u! and how can i find a positive picture that i can paint u, but thank u, 4 having my back 4 so long, u HAVE helped me thru some times that were so wrong, and in some ways u've made me so strong, but u never know when 2 say so long, and stop always tryin to dis me 4 my slow songs, i'm a hopeless romantic that's true, bu...
(maddladd): shhh.. u hear that? that's all these people laughing at u, but not me, i'm starting 2 understand u a bit, and no matter if we like it or not, we got 2 put up with each other's shit, but i'll protect u from yourself u know u need me here 2 put it in perspective, cos u put yourself out there and set yourself up with rejection, and i take rejection and turn it in2 something creative.. I'm Your Conscience, Christopher.. why do u hate it?
(christopher): maybe hate was a strong word, but here lately i've been using all the wrong words, i get in a box and the walls close in, i put my trust in others that i call friend, i put it all out there, that's just how i do, and yeah, i admit, sometimes i really need u, but other times all i need is u 2 let me mind my own, sometimes i just gotta do this thing alone..
(maddladd): your own, is my own, and alone u ain't so good, u start thinkin things that ain't so good, u start dreamin bout who loves u and what u got, u need me 2 tell u who does, and who loves u NOT! u see i've been there.. i was there when u turned 10, but u pushed me aside and look what u learned then, that people can't be trusted, they'll only hurt u, get what they want from u, then desert u, and that's how people do u, they eat until they're stuffed, then put u out 2 pasture, now look at what u got. a whole lotta nothing, and u feel worse than u first did, besides when u signed up on the board look what name u posted.. Maddladd.. u wanted me 2 be here.. so why is it now, u tellin me 2 leave here?
(christopher): i don't want u 2 go, just hang out on the low, and if u see somebody gamin me, let me know, and if i need to just get away, help me go, and if u see me being self destructive, tell me NO, tell me when to shut the fuck up, and when to flow. so now we agree that we need to co-exist, so madd, just try to stop acting so pissed, and no more closed fists,
let's get along, and see if we can find a common ground between us,
and maybe we can really grasp the reality of genius,
(maddladd): i'll give it a shot, if u promise i can spout off sometimes, maybe just say what i say in 1 line, and if i see u gettin down again, i'm gonna have to surround u, and maybe we won't have to continue schizophrenic converstaions in the next round after 2....
i present to u
SCHIZOPHRENIC CONVERSATIONS "MADDLADD V. CHRISTOPHER" ROUND 1
(christopher): man, y u always gotta keep me reliving the past?
(maddladd): cos sometimes i gotta remind your ass, that life ain't all peaches and cream, there's some serious shit u gotta deal with in between, and them lyrics u write, man u gotta be on some other shit,
cos those feeling u convey wouldn't work on the mothership, and u ain't gotta try to get these people to like u, they aren't like u, they won't Really like u...
(christopher): u say that, but some people are kind..
(maddladd): everyone's lookin for somethin maybe u're just 2 blind, to see what's in front of your face, u keep pacin, i keep your blood racin, and there ain't no erasin, the past, i'll take u back to a time when u were 10, left all alone, violated again and again, no one was there for u, how can they be now?
(christopher): if u would only slow down then u could see how, but u're too pre occupied with ruinin the inside, got me walkin on a thin line, and sometimes goin out of my mind, i thought i knew who i was then u came to the front, so how the fuck u gonna tell me what i want?!
(maddladd): what u want, maybe what u need, u brought me 2 the front, i needed 2 breathe, i say what's really on your mind, i don't hide it, don't try to fight it, not everybody's gonna like it, but i'm the truth, you're just a vision of what u could be, i'm what u should be...
(christopher): stop tryin to push me, don't play me like i'm a pussy, so what my lyrics are mushy, i think we all have a softer side, a gentle side, u treat it like a genocide..
(maddladd): a genocide, it's more like a suicide, u put your heart before your head and get it chopped off everytime, u say how u feel, they watch u drop like a stone, they break u down, and I feel it 2 the bone, if they could clone u, i'd be able 2 say this 2 your face, ball up a fist, and put u in2 place..
(christopher): u have a lot 2 say, sometimes u help me out, sometimes i need u just not 2 come out, sometimes i need 2 put myself out there and accept failure, not act cocky and cuss like a sailor, not be brash and hurt feelings unwarranted, uncalled for, why do u do that for?
(maddladd): u tried church, but god forsaked u, i accepted u, and tried 2 be kind 2 u, but u turned away, said u could do it yourself, but christopher, u're bad 4 your own health, u can't see that they're all laughing at u, they're all having the last laugh, every time u come and cry about the past, everytime u think somebody likes u, u just don't see the truth, but trust me.. i do..
(christopher): not everyone is that way, that can't be right, i just try 2 heal, and help somebody with the words i write, how can u say that i'm the butt of their jokes, u have to be wrong, maddladd!
(maddladd): i don't think so, i mean, look at the drama u surround yourself with, it's like u have a freakin death wish, u write words of love, honor,respect and 4ever, but when people get 2 know u, it's all about 4 never, and however u percieve them, is not how they percieve u, they don't like u, they don't want u, and most of all, they don't believe u! u're so transparent, even they can see thru, nobody gives to fucks about the real u, that's why i'm here, to conceal u.
(christopher): i hear u, and on some levels i feel u, but there's so many things i need 2 get out, but u keep coming back and freaking my head out, and u bring jealousy, confusion and make me second guess any and everyone, that ain't no fun, can't u just let me be me for 1ce?
(maddladd): if i let u be u, we'd both be miserable and cryin, cos your heart would always be broke, u'd always be alone, and not even tryin, u have some nice things in your heart, and your mind i know what u think about, but u live because i am the one who ain't afraid 2 bring em out, that shit u sing about?, it's only songs, nobody lives out those lyrics, and your voice.. Nobody wants 2 fuckin hear it.. and those thoughts u have of someone loving u for yourself? give it up, that's bad for your health, cos nobody wants u, nobody wants 2, and i know it's the alone that haunts u, so i'm here, u're best friend.. but sometimes u infuriate me, why do u hate me? aren't u the 1 who created me?!
(christopher): damn, i guess you're right, i did create u..and no, i don't hate u, but we need some cooperation. and stop coming on the board for these schizophrenic conversations...
ROUND 2:
(maddladd): now u've pissed me off, u cut me off, i wasn't done with u, why u gotta silence me?
(christopher): i silenced u because u were tearing my down in front of everyone, verbal violence, in essence a beat down, a public flogging, if u will and i needed to get away, time 2 process, time 2 think, time 2 see if u said the truth, and i do see a lot of christopher in u,...
(maddladd): u in me? now come on, chris, get your head out your ass, u ain't on my level son, it's like u would make love, but without me u couldn't come, because u would be on some.. the girl's gonna get pleased, and i'm like yeah, but in turn, she's gonna please me, every touch she feels, it's a 2 on 1, or is it a 2 in 1, it's all good, it's all fun, but u're not in touch with reality, your reality, is nothing but a falicy..
(christopher): it's not a falicy, in fact, u're madd and it's out of jealousy, u're hateful, and mean because u can't be like me, and it's no likely that u'll ever out write me, u wanna come 2 blows, u wanna fight me, well step in2 the ring, i'll put u down nightly, politely, i'm sayin, u don't really know me, but now u all up in here like u wanna show me, how 2 be u, how 2 be real, if being u is being real, i'd rather be pretend, cos then at least i'd have a friend...
(maddladd): ah, now u comin to my side, and u ain't never had a friend like me, u know it's true u can't deny it, so why the fuck u wanna take me on and fight it? let me out, let me get u 2 the heart of the matter? instead of u always being down and people wondering what's the matter.. u got issues man, more issues than sports illustrated, it's already been over stated, and personally christoper.. i think u're overrated..
(christopher): overrated? what is that supposed 2 mean?
(maddladd): well, did u see the word genius that have been posted since we last met? they wouldn't call u that if they knew who u really were and that's a bet, they would all shit on u, like the others have and the others will, ain't no body up in this motherfucker give a damn about how u feel,
so take that information and do with it what u will, but i'm the only motherfucker u know who tries 2 keep u real..
(christopher): keep me real? come on madd, u ain't right..i mean, didn't u read all the posts about us last night? yeah the word genius was thrown around, i said myself i wasn't worthy, and why are u so sure that all these people wanna do me dirty? and how are u a friend to me? u seem more like an enemy?
(maddladd): cos u live in denial, like chappaquiddik and a kennedy, like oj, nicole and ron goldman, it's not your fault, maybe it's just an omen, maybe u're supposes 2 be that way so i can surface, or maybe u secretly like me, and u call me up on purpose, maybe your reality sux as much as i've told u it does, and maybe u need me 2 do something positive 4 us,
(christopher): ok, so if what u're saying is true, why would i wanna expose others 2 u? u don't give a damn about feelings and who u hurt long as it ain't u! and how can i find a positive picture that i can paint u, but thank u, 4 having my back 4 so long, u HAVE helped me thru some times that were so wrong, and in some ways u've made me so strong, but u never know when 2 say so long, and stop always tryin to dis me 4 my slow songs, i'm a hopeless romantic that's true, bu...
(maddladd): shhh.. u hear that? that's all these people laughing at u, but not me, i'm starting 2 understand u a bit, and no matter if we like it or not, we got 2 put up with each other's shit, but i'll protect u from yourself u know u need me here 2 put it in perspective, cos u put yourself out there and set yourself up with rejection, and i take rejection and turn it in2 something creative.. I'm Your Conscience, Christopher.. why do u hate it?
(christopher): maybe hate was a strong word, but here lately i've been using all the wrong words, i get in a box and the walls close in, i put my trust in others that i call friend, i put it all out there, that's just how i do, and yeah, i admit, sometimes i really need u, but other times all i need is u 2 let me mind my own, sometimes i just gotta do this thing alone..
(maddladd): your own, is my own, and alone u ain't so good, u start thinkin things that ain't so good, u start dreamin bout who loves u and what u got, u need me 2 tell u who does, and who loves u NOT! u see i've been there.. i was there when u turned 10, but u pushed me aside and look what u learned then, that people can't be trusted, they'll only hurt u, get what they want from u, then desert u, and that's how people do u, they eat until they're stuffed, then put u out 2 pasture, now look at what u got. a whole lotta nothing, and u feel worse than u first did, besides when u signed up on the board look what name u posted.. Maddladd.. u wanted me 2 be here.. so why is it now, u tellin me 2 leave here?
(christopher): i don't want u 2 go, just hang out on the low, and if u see somebody gamin me, let me know, and if i need to just get away, help me go, and if u see me being self destructive, tell me NO, tell me when to shut the fuck up, and when to flow. so now we agree that we need to co-exist, so madd, just try to stop acting so pissed, and no more closed fists,
let's get along, and see if we can find a common ground between us,
and maybe we can really grasp the reality of genius,
(maddladd): i'll give it a shot, if u promise i can spout off sometimes, maybe just say what i say in 1 line, and if i see u gettin down again, i'm gonna have to surround u, and maybe we won't have to continue schizophrenic converstaions in the next round after 2....
Monday, March 19, 2012
He Ain't Chris
i bet his jokes don't even make u laugh,
the way the things i say make u smile,
i bet when he sings with the radio,
he don't make u feel the way that i do,
no,
i bet when he cooks ur dinner,
that's right, he don't know a pot from a pan,
ya i bet when he makes the promises all day,
at night, he don't make u feel like a real woman,
and i bet he don't see that gleam in ur eyes,
that ur name don't sound the same coming from his lips,
and he don't know how it's supposed 2 feel when u say his name,
he may be a guy like me.. but baby it just ain't the same,
cuz,
my hands have never felt anything quite like u,
my eyes have never seen an angel before or since,
every moment i spend with u was more special than the one before it,
so i can tell u this,
he ain't Chris...
he don't say yes ma'am to ur momma,
he don't firmly handshake with ur dad,
i saw ur brother the other day,
and..well i can't even repeat what he had 2 say,
i bet he still loves his car more than u,
u can't compete with his friends,
and he only turns u off when he's playin' video games,
he may be a guy like me.. but baby it just ain't the same,
cuz,
i don't need nothin' but 2 see myself in ur eyes,
there's no better feeling that ur hand in mine,
just sittin' watchin' the tv hangin' out on the couch,
whisperin' "i love u" in ur ear, ain't that what it's all about,
and every moment spent with u, is more special than the last,
so i know i know i know i can promise u this,
he maybe a lot of things u think u want in a guy,
but baby no.. .no..no...
he ain't Chris...
i could promise u forever he can't promise 2day,
i can promise that i never will,
but He's gonna go away,
i will be there when we age, he will split before the dawn,
i'll be there through it all,
he will just be ... gone..
he might have a lil more money,
might be able 2 grant a wish,
but no matter how many things he can buy u, baby,
he ain't, he ain't ..
he ain't Chris
the way the things i say make u smile,
i bet when he sings with the radio,
he don't make u feel the way that i do,
no,
i bet when he cooks ur dinner,
that's right, he don't know a pot from a pan,
ya i bet when he makes the promises all day,
at night, he don't make u feel like a real woman,
and i bet he don't see that gleam in ur eyes,
that ur name don't sound the same coming from his lips,
and he don't know how it's supposed 2 feel when u say his name,
he may be a guy like me.. but baby it just ain't the same,
cuz,
my hands have never felt anything quite like u,
my eyes have never seen an angel before or since,
every moment i spend with u was more special than the one before it,
so i can tell u this,
he ain't Chris...
he don't say yes ma'am to ur momma,
he don't firmly handshake with ur dad,
i saw ur brother the other day,
and..well i can't even repeat what he had 2 say,
i bet he still loves his car more than u,
u can't compete with his friends,
and he only turns u off when he's playin' video games,
he may be a guy like me.. but baby it just ain't the same,
cuz,
i don't need nothin' but 2 see myself in ur eyes,
there's no better feeling that ur hand in mine,
just sittin' watchin' the tv hangin' out on the couch,
whisperin' "i love u" in ur ear, ain't that what it's all about,
and every moment spent with u, is more special than the last,
so i know i know i know i can promise u this,
he maybe a lot of things u think u want in a guy,
but baby no.. .no..no...
he ain't Chris...
i could promise u forever he can't promise 2day,
i can promise that i never will,
but He's gonna go away,
i will be there when we age, he will split before the dawn,
i'll be there through it all,
he will just be ... gone..
he might have a lil more money,
might be able 2 grant a wish,
but no matter how many things he can buy u, baby,
he ain't, he ain't ..
he ain't Chris
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Bo$$
back in the day.. hahaha. i was and still am quite the fan of HIP HOP.. not RAP, but hip hop, where u have to be creative with your words and u have to create a piece that has the stuff that make people say "that kid has a nice flow" .. rewind to the 80's and i was 5,6,7 and i was a great breakdancer, which u danced to incredilbe rap songs. that lead me to wanna be the emcee. i quickly began putting words together and forming lines of what i thought was really good, and in reality, probably wasn't too great. Flash Forward to the 90's and i began to have a nice lil flow and i found that i could Freestyle better than most of the radio rappers could write. i could freestyle over any of their songs and put together a piece about anything, anyone at anytime. I once feestyled over the entire Cypress Hill Black Sunday album during a trip to a mall with a friend. I even got into a pretty successful rap duo with a friend from school and we did several shows in st louis and i met a few cool people along the way. well, now that i have a teenage son who listens to RAP music, blah.., i wanted to show him that his dad is better than these people on the radio that he likes. I began brainstorming on a concept project called "Maddladd presents.. The Return of Dragon-Fire Jones" I had a "friend" lined up to produce and record it, but he flaked on me and the project is still pending. while i was putting songs together for that project, i began freestyling again, and made a facebook fan page for the project. I came up with this piece(which is by no way an entire song, just a verse), that i thought was kinda hot.. sorta freestyled while typing. anywhoo.. it's not another romantic love piece or a naughty seduction, but it IS another side to the MADDLADD..
i could put most of these rap cats out of a job/
if i got up off my ass & got involved/
full of myself? no not even/
i just know my talents and i dont stop believin
u doubt me?
get from round me or challenge me if u dare 2
but my all black hoodie n skull cap'll scare u
i aint even gotta breathe on the mic/
before u runnin out the door/
squeakin like some new nikes/
i'm ur favorite rappers most feared opponent
i could destroy whoever the number one rapper is at the moment
weezy,drake,ross,minaj/
yeah i said it/ur flow's pathetic
mine is premium unleaded/
cost too much for u 2 to wanna get it
dont sweat it
just tuck ya tail n get lost
u soft
i floss
cuz i'm the mf'n Boss!
when i write/freestyle, i mostly battle rap, meaning i don't rap about nicey nice things, the size of my chain, the girls i'm with, cuz that's all for the radio rappers. my favorite rappers do songs that would make most people not even wanna challenge them. that's me. i love to battle other rappers too. especially if they go first.. if they go first.. it's over.. if i gotta go first, i have to come out swinging even harder tho, cuz im gonna win. not really like an eminem, if we were gonna compare.. more like a Chino Xl.. youtube him, he's the best.. anway, from time to time i'll get in the mood to post something like this, not very often cuz it's not everyone else's bag.
4
if i ever had ur face close 2 mine,
i'd whisper in ur ear "damn u're fine",
if i ever got to touch u, with just my fingertips,
i'd pull u in close enough 2 feel ur breath,
and the breaths we share,
a breath of fresh air,
and tho u may have been kissed,
if i got the chance 2 kiss,
i can promise u ain't never had a kiss like this,
these lips are longing 2 be introduced 2 u,
these eyes wanna know ur stare,
this voice wants 2 be a familiar,
one u would recognize anywhere,
and these arms,
these arms long to be the place u consider ur safest place to hide,
when u need 2 feel at home,
u can 2 & wrap urself inside..
and this heart,
longs 2 beat in time with urs,
so that when ur eyes glance upon me the first time,
i'm everything u've ever been looking 4...
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The Last
wasn't the first eyes u stared into,
and got butterflies,
wasn't the first hand that u held onto,
and thought "this is the rest of my life"
but i wanna be the one,
who helps u forget about ur past,
i wanna be your true forever,
might not have been ur first,
but i... wanna be the last,
wasn't the first pair of lips u kissed,
or the first name in ur diary,
wasn't even the first person u gave ur heart to,
the first one u ever loved, no it wasn't me,
but i wanna be The One,
who helps u forget about ur past,
baby i.. wanna be your TRUE for.ever,
might not have been ur first,
but i.. wanna be the last,
wanna be the ONLY one,
asking ur daddy for permission,
2 get down on 1 knee,
wanna be the ONLY man,
that takes ahold of ur left hand,
says "i do" and slips on THE ring,
for that i'd give anything and everything!!
i wanna be The One,
who helps u forget about ur past,
i wanna be your TRUE for.ever...
might not have been ur first,
but i wanna be the last,
might not have been the first i love u,
u ever heard whispered in ur ear,
but i...
wanna be the last
and got butterflies,
wasn't the first hand that u held onto,
and thought "this is the rest of my life"
but i wanna be the one,
who helps u forget about ur past,
i wanna be your true forever,
might not have been ur first,
but i... wanna be the last,
wasn't the first pair of lips u kissed,
or the first name in ur diary,
wasn't even the first person u gave ur heart to,
the first one u ever loved, no it wasn't me,
but i wanna be The One,
who helps u forget about ur past,
baby i.. wanna be your TRUE for.ever,
might not have been ur first,
but i.. wanna be the last,
wanna be the ONLY one,
asking ur daddy for permission,
2 get down on 1 knee,
wanna be the ONLY man,
that takes ahold of ur left hand,
says "i do" and slips on THE ring,
for that i'd give anything and everything!!
i wanna be The One,
who helps u forget about ur past,
i wanna be your TRUE for.ever...
might not have been ur first,
but i wanna be the last,
might not have been the first i love u,
u ever heard whispered in ur ear,
but i...
wanna be the last
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
On My Way
This Boyce Avenue Lyric is perhaps the most beautiful soul mate song i've ever heard. Saw them in concert in St. Louis this past Monday and i think i may have cried when they sang this. It's called
On My Way
I Wasn't there the moment you first learned to breathe
But I'm on my way
On my way
I wasn't there the moment you got off your knees
But I'm on my way
On my way
Lay down, And come alive in all you've found, All you're meant to be,
And for now, We'll wait until the morning light,
And close our eyes to see, Just close your eyes to see
A tear must have formed in my eye,
When you had your first kiss
But I'm on my way
On my way
So leave a space deep inside for everything I'll miss
Cause I'm on my way
On my way
Lay down, And come alive in all you've found, All you're meant to be,
And for now, We'll wait until the morning light,
And close our eyes to see,Just close your eyes to see,
And when you feel no saving grace,Well I'm on my way,
On my way,
And when you're bound to second place,
Well I'm on my way,
On my way,
So don't believe it's all in vain,
Cause I'm on my way,
On my way,
The light at the end is worth the pain,
Cause I'm on my way,
On my way
I'll be there the morning you come out in whiteCause I'm on my wayOn my way
On My Way
I Wasn't there the moment you first learned to breathe
But I'm on my way
On my way
I wasn't there the moment you got off your knees
But I'm on my way
On my way
Lay down, And come alive in all you've found, All you're meant to be,
And for now, We'll wait until the morning light,
And close our eyes to see, Just close your eyes to see
A tear must have formed in my eye,
When you had your first kiss
But I'm on my way
On my way
So leave a space deep inside for everything I'll miss
Cause I'm on my way
On my way
Lay down, And come alive in all you've found, All you're meant to be,
And for now, We'll wait until the morning light,
And close our eyes to see,Just close your eyes to see,
And when you feel no saving grace,Well I'm on my way,
On my way,
And when you're bound to second place,
Well I'm on my way,
On my way,
So don't believe it's all in vain,
Cause I'm on my way,
On my way,
The light at the end is worth the pain,
Cause I'm on my way,
On my way
I'll be there the morning you come out in whiteCause I'm on my wayOn my way
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Sure
sun is shinin'
but it's rainin' inside my heart,
i'm longing for stability,
while my whole world is falling apart,
should we stay, should we go,
we both wanna be happy,
are we what's gonna make it so,
or is it time 2 walk away,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not love u anymore,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not need u anymore,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not want u,
but things never change,
they're always the same,
we're both 2 blame,
is it the opposite of sane,
i'm not sure,
80 degress outside,
i feel a chill coming on,
in ur smile i see everything,
but there's a pull in my heart,
that's telling me to be strong,
that's it's time to move on,
i'm weakest when u're at your strongest,
i drown inside each one of your tears,
i'm down on my knees and i'm praying for answers,
i need a sign that is perfectly clear...
cuz
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not love u anymore,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not need u anymore,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not want u,
but things never change,
they're always the same,
we're both 2 blame,
is it the opposite of sane,
i'm not sure,
i'm not sure that i have the words,
2 tell u goodbye,
2 see 1 single tear drop,
fall from ur eye,
2 be the man i need 2 be all alone,
2 stand up tall, all on my own,
but i do know that something,
has got 2 give,
has got 2 bring beautiful,
has got 2 bring a life 2 live,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not love u anymore,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not need u anymore,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not want u,
but things never change,
they're always the same,
we're both 2 blame,
is it the opposite of sane,
i'm not sure,
sun is shinin'
but it's rainin' inside my heart,
i'm longing for stability,
while my whole world is falling apart,
should we stay or should we go?
i'm not sure
but it's rainin' inside my heart,
i'm longing for stability,
while my whole world is falling apart,
should we stay, should we go,
we both wanna be happy,
are we what's gonna make it so,
or is it time 2 walk away,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not love u anymore,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not need u anymore,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not want u,
but things never change,
they're always the same,
we're both 2 blame,
is it the opposite of sane,
i'm not sure,
80 degress outside,
i feel a chill coming on,
in ur smile i see everything,
but there's a pull in my heart,
that's telling me to be strong,
that's it's time to move on,
i'm weakest when u're at your strongest,
i drown inside each one of your tears,
i'm down on my knees and i'm praying for answers,
i need a sign that is perfectly clear...
cuz
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not love u anymore,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not need u anymore,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not want u,
but things never change,
they're always the same,
we're both 2 blame,
is it the opposite of sane,
i'm not sure,
i'm not sure that i have the words,
2 tell u goodbye,
2 see 1 single tear drop,
fall from ur eye,
2 be the man i need 2 be all alone,
2 stand up tall, all on my own,
but i do know that something,
has got 2 give,
has got 2 bring beautiful,
has got 2 bring a life 2 live,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not love u anymore,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not need u anymore,
i'm not sure,
that i know how 2 not want u,
but things never change,
they're always the same,
we're both 2 blame,
is it the opposite of sane,
i'm not sure,
sun is shinin'
but it's rainin' inside my heart,
i'm longing for stability,
while my whole world is falling apart,
should we stay or should we go?
i'm not sure
Monday, March 12, 2012
18
she's growin' up so fast,
tell me where does the time go 2,
she's almost in junior high,
before i know it,
she'll be drivin' and ridin' in a car,
and she'll have a job, then graduate,
college and 2 much on her plate,
she was just my little girl,
my little kenzie bop,
she could just smile,
and make the whole world stop,
time goes so fast,
u go from being a baby 2 grown,
what happens in between,
i don't have a single clue,
what in the world i'm gonna do,
when she...turns 18...
she's gonna meet a boy,
she's gonna be in love,
she's gonna get a kiss,
and i don't know if i'm ready for all of this,
how do u get ready 4 this?
she was just my little girl,
my little kenzie bop,
she could just smile,
and make the whole world stop,
time goes so fast,
u go from being a baby 2 grown,
what happens in between,
i don't have a single clue,
what in the world i'm gonna do,
when she...turns 18...
he's gonna ask,
and she's gonna say i do,
she's gonna pack her things,
and move out in2,
a house that isn't mine,
what happened 2 the time,
what happened 2 the time??
she was just my little girl,
my little kenzie bop,
she could just smile,
and make the whole world stop,
time goes so fast,
u go from being a baby 2 grown,
what happens in between,
i don't have a single clue,
what in the world i'm gonna do,
when she...turns 18...
i don't have a single clue,
just what the hell i'm gonna do,
when she....
turns 18
tell me where does the time go 2,
she's almost in junior high,
before i know it,
she'll be drivin' and ridin' in a car,
and she'll have a job, then graduate,
college and 2 much on her plate,
she was just my little girl,
my little kenzie bop,
she could just smile,
and make the whole world stop,
time goes so fast,
u go from being a baby 2 grown,
what happens in between,
i don't have a single clue,
what in the world i'm gonna do,
when she...turns 18...
she's gonna meet a boy,
she's gonna be in love,
she's gonna get a kiss,
and i don't know if i'm ready for all of this,
how do u get ready 4 this?
she was just my little girl,
my little kenzie bop,
she could just smile,
and make the whole world stop,
time goes so fast,
u go from being a baby 2 grown,
what happens in between,
i don't have a single clue,
what in the world i'm gonna do,
when she...turns 18...
he's gonna ask,
and she's gonna say i do,
she's gonna pack her things,
and move out in2,
a house that isn't mine,
what happened 2 the time,
what happened 2 the time??
she was just my little girl,
my little kenzie bop,
she could just smile,
and make the whole world stop,
time goes so fast,
u go from being a baby 2 grown,
what happens in between,
i don't have a single clue,
what in the world i'm gonna do,
when she...turns 18...
i don't have a single clue,
just what the hell i'm gonna do,
when she....
turns 18
Blake
When a friend or family member passes, I think it's only natural that we start soul searching. We wonder what we could've done to make it different or to have changed the outcome. We start looking at ourselves and think about the things we need to change. The thing that had pressed my mind so much is time. I knew Blake several years ago, when I was in high school. My parents knew his parents, and I was asked by his mom if I could help his sister, Brooke with her drivers ed. A crafty plan, was hatched between our mothers to let Brooke and I meet and probably with the hopes we'd take a liking towards one another.
I met Blake, and he was FEARLESS. This kid was funny, he was up for anything and he never asked for attention; he commanded it. Blake was a few years younger than me, so I should have found him annoying, but he was not. He was cool. My parents had difficulties keeping the utilities in at our house, so I spent a number of nights and weekends between 1992-1994 at the Beasley's house. Brooke never took the liking to me that our mothers had hoped, so when I was there, I hung out with Blake. We would play video games and watch wrestling on Saturday nights. We would make fun of some of the silly character names and laugh till it hurt. During the hot summer days, we'd be in the pool until we were wilted. Blake would do insane jumps into the pool and I just knew he was gonna hit the bottom and get hurt, but he never did.
One September, I had the pleasure of going to mermac river and camping out with Blake and his parents. The first night, it poured down and rained all thru our tent. I was mad, cuz I woke up drenched, Blake just laughed and his infectious laugh took away the frustration of the moment. Blake was like a little brother. When I would stay at his house, we'd make food runs, and Blake always rode along. I was always saying the word "woosh" for some reason, so Blake dubbed me "woosh man". Senior year came and life got hectic and I lost touch with who were my surrogate family. I hadn't seen or heard of Blake(oddly we lived only 10 minutes from each other) in years.
I recently found Blake, Brooke and Kris Beasley on facebook and became "friends" with them. It was basically a long awaited reconnection. I hadn't heard from Blake tho, in a while, and last week, heard of his untimely passing. The news brought great sadness and memories flooding back of a great time in my life, when I had a little brother and friend. Like everyone else, I wish I hadnt lost contact and that I could have known the great man that he had become.
Yesterday, I spent a couple hours at his house reminiscing with his parents. It was like old times, minus 1..my dear friend Blake. I was asked by the family to put together 2 CDs worth of music for the memorial, and I gladly accepted. It was the very least I could do. I only hope that the song selection honors him in the way intended and that he'll be looking down with approval. A sadness is in my heart for not having been around to see him graduate, and get engaged, but I am forever honored to have known him for the time we were close.
Many people come into your life and u will remember some, and forget others. Them there are people like Blake. Like in his childhood, Blake isn't asking to be unforgettable, he commands it! I'll miss u Blake but one day I know I'll see u again.
Till then...thanks for the pleasure of knowing u and calling u friend.
Chris
I met Blake, and he was FEARLESS. This kid was funny, he was up for anything and he never asked for attention; he commanded it. Blake was a few years younger than me, so I should have found him annoying, but he was not. He was cool. My parents had difficulties keeping the utilities in at our house, so I spent a number of nights and weekends between 1992-1994 at the Beasley's house. Brooke never took the liking to me that our mothers had hoped, so when I was there, I hung out with Blake. We would play video games and watch wrestling on Saturday nights. We would make fun of some of the silly character names and laugh till it hurt. During the hot summer days, we'd be in the pool until we were wilted. Blake would do insane jumps into the pool and I just knew he was gonna hit the bottom and get hurt, but he never did.
One September, I had the pleasure of going to mermac river and camping out with Blake and his parents. The first night, it poured down and rained all thru our tent. I was mad, cuz I woke up drenched, Blake just laughed and his infectious laugh took away the frustration of the moment. Blake was like a little brother. When I would stay at his house, we'd make food runs, and Blake always rode along. I was always saying the word "woosh" for some reason, so Blake dubbed me "woosh man". Senior year came and life got hectic and I lost touch with who were my surrogate family. I hadn't seen or heard of Blake(oddly we lived only 10 minutes from each other) in years.
I recently found Blake, Brooke and Kris Beasley on facebook and became "friends" with them. It was basically a long awaited reconnection. I hadn't heard from Blake tho, in a while, and last week, heard of his untimely passing. The news brought great sadness and memories flooding back of a great time in my life, when I had a little brother and friend. Like everyone else, I wish I hadnt lost contact and that I could have known the great man that he had become.
Yesterday, I spent a couple hours at his house reminiscing with his parents. It was like old times, minus 1..my dear friend Blake. I was asked by the family to put together 2 CDs worth of music for the memorial, and I gladly accepted. It was the very least I could do. I only hope that the song selection honors him in the way intended and that he'll be looking down with approval. A sadness is in my heart for not having been around to see him graduate, and get engaged, but I am forever honored to have known him for the time we were close.
Many people come into your life and u will remember some, and forget others. Them there are people like Blake. Like in his childhood, Blake isn't asking to be unforgettable, he commands it! I'll miss u Blake but one day I know I'll see u again.
Till then...thanks for the pleasure of knowing u and calling u friend.
Chris
What Could Be Better?
Touching those places,
Exchanging those faces,
What could be better than?
Neither one of us sleepy,
In the bedroom meet me,
I gotta lil somethin' freaky in mind,
It's Friday night,
Kids are at your mother's,
And I can't see doin anything,
That's more important than,
Kissing u deeply,
Whisper in ur ear sweetly,
All the things I've been thinking bout doing with u,
Turn off the cell phone,
Off with the t.v.,
Hope u ain't sleepy,
Cuz what we're bout to do,
Could last all night,
I'm about to show u,
I'm about 2 get 2 know u,
In places we ain't been 4 quite some time,cuz,
I gotta lil somethin freaky in mind...
Ure gonna say things,
That could make a sailor blush,
Things u won't admit when the mornin' comes,
But once I go there,
Ure gonna make me stay there,
Instantly addicted 2 the rush!
So open up ur mind girl,
Let me explore n find girl,
Everywhere that no other man has been,
It's gonna feel like ure in Heaven,
A fantastic Heaven,
An erotic state of pure bliss,
So if ure ready,
I'm so ready,
U've never been so far from just 1 kiss,
Don't worry bout a thing just having a good time, cuz
I gotta lil something freaky in mind.....
Touching those places,
Exchanging those faces,
What could be better than?
Exchanging those faces,
What could be better than?
Neither one of us sleepy,
In the bedroom meet me,
I gotta lil somethin' freaky in mind,
It's Friday night,
Kids are at your mother's,
And I can't see doin anything,
That's more important than,
Kissing u deeply,
Whisper in ur ear sweetly,
All the things I've been thinking bout doing with u,
Turn off the cell phone,
Off with the t.v.,
Hope u ain't sleepy,
Cuz what we're bout to do,
Could last all night,
I'm about to show u,
I'm about 2 get 2 know u,
In places we ain't been 4 quite some time,cuz,
I gotta lil somethin freaky in mind...
Ure gonna say things,
That could make a sailor blush,
Things u won't admit when the mornin' comes,
But once I go there,
Ure gonna make me stay there,
Instantly addicted 2 the rush!
So open up ur mind girl,
Let me explore n find girl,
Everywhere that no other man has been,
It's gonna feel like ure in Heaven,
A fantastic Heaven,
An erotic state of pure bliss,
So if ure ready,
I'm so ready,
U've never been so far from just 1 kiss,
Don't worry bout a thing just having a good time, cuz
I gotta lil something freaky in mind.....
Touching those places,
Exchanging those faces,
What could be better than?
I Hope
I really hope he does u wrong,
I hope he let's u down,
I hope when u need him most,
He's with another girl across town,
I hope he stops answering the phone,
I hope he leaves u all alone,
I hope he hurts u in every way u hurt me 10 fold,
I hope u feel like u just can't go on,
When he does u wrong..
I hope he starts makin up excuses,
And keeps his alibis air tight,
I hope u have to start second guessing,
With whom and where he's spending all his time,
Hope when he says he's workin,
U know he ain't workin,
I hope u start contemplatin',
Just what the hell is wrong with u,
Why would any man wanna treat u,
The way "the one who's supposed to love u" do,
I really hope he does u wrong,
I hope he let's u down,
I hope when u need him most,
He's with another girl across town,
I hope he stops answering the phone,
I hope he leaves u all alone,
I hope he hurts u in every way u hurt me 10 fold,
I hope u feel like u just can't go on,
When he does u wrong..
I hope that u start drownin',
Every night from all of your tears,
I hope that u begin obsessing,
Just how the hell I've wasted all these years,
I hope u come home early from work,
With thoughts of loving him in ur head,
Only 2 catch him in the act,
With another woman in ur bed,
I hope he does u wrong,
U don't know how much I hope he let's u down,
I hope when u're beggin u need him the most,
He's spending time with another across town,
I hope he stops answering the phone,
While u're home all alone,
Yeah, I hope he leaves ya, I hope he cheats on ya,
In ur bed, with ur best friend, ur cousin, ur sister, ur mama,
And all ur dirty laundry is known all over ur little town,
I hope with all my heart,
That the tears don't stop when they start,
When he breaks ur heart in pieces,
And be let's u down, I know he's gonna let u down,
When I've got nowhere 2 go,
Call me baby, I'll be there, I'll be right there,
2 tell u 2 ur face,
I told u so..
I hope he does u wrong,
And I can't wait till he let's u down....
I hope he let's u down,
I hope when u need him most,
He's with another girl across town,
I hope he stops answering the phone,
I hope he leaves u all alone,
I hope he hurts u in every way u hurt me 10 fold,
I hope u feel like u just can't go on,
When he does u wrong..
I hope he starts makin up excuses,
And keeps his alibis air tight,
I hope u have to start second guessing,
With whom and where he's spending all his time,
Hope when he says he's workin,
U know he ain't workin,
I hope u start contemplatin',
Just what the hell is wrong with u,
Why would any man wanna treat u,
The way "the one who's supposed to love u" do,
I really hope he does u wrong,
I hope he let's u down,
I hope when u need him most,
He's with another girl across town,
I hope he stops answering the phone,
I hope he leaves u all alone,
I hope he hurts u in every way u hurt me 10 fold,
I hope u feel like u just can't go on,
When he does u wrong..
I hope that u start drownin',
Every night from all of your tears,
I hope that u begin obsessing,
Just how the hell I've wasted all these years,
I hope u come home early from work,
With thoughts of loving him in ur head,
Only 2 catch him in the act,
With another woman in ur bed,
I hope he does u wrong,
U don't know how much I hope he let's u down,
I hope when u're beggin u need him the most,
He's spending time with another across town,
I hope he stops answering the phone,
While u're home all alone,
Yeah, I hope he leaves ya, I hope he cheats on ya,
In ur bed, with ur best friend, ur cousin, ur sister, ur mama,
And all ur dirty laundry is known all over ur little town,
I hope with all my heart,
That the tears don't stop when they start,
When he breaks ur heart in pieces,
And be let's u down, I know he's gonna let u down,
When I've got nowhere 2 go,
Call me baby, I'll be there, I'll be right there,
2 tell u 2 ur face,
I told u so..
I hope he does u wrong,
And I can't wait till he let's u down....
Turn Off The Radio
ain't nothin' on the radio,
makes u wanna fall in love,
ain't nothin' on the video,
makes u wanna fall in love,
everything's about babies havin' babies of their own,
daddy's leaving momma's and them babies all alone,
every song is about clubbin', sexin' and thuggin',
whatever happened 2 old fashioned kissin' & huggin',
ain't nothin' on the radio,
makes u wanna fall in love,
ain't nothin' on a video,
makes u wanna fall in love,
the evening news with their political views,
fashion tips about what 2 wear, which pair of shoes,
who's goin' 2 war with who, and the economy goin' down the tubes,
ain't nothin' uplifitin' ain't nothin' about makin' u smile,
could we get a love song,
could we get a romantic movie,
could we get a headline,
that says now is the time,
2 hold somebody's hand,
share with them a kiss,
can we all,.. can we all...
fall....cuz there ain't nothin' at all!!
ain't nothin' on the radio,
makes u wanna fall, makes u wanna dance,
what happened 2 the days,
when it was all about romance,
ain't nothin' at the movies
ain't nothin' on the t.v.
2 show these kids what love's really all about
what this world really needs,
is some good ol, l o v e,
what this world really needs,
is some good ol, l o v e,
but there ain't,
nothin' on the radio,
makes u wanna fall in love...
turn the radio off!
makes u wanna fall in love,
ain't nothin' on the video,
makes u wanna fall in love,
everything's about babies havin' babies of their own,
daddy's leaving momma's and them babies all alone,
every song is about clubbin', sexin' and thuggin',
whatever happened 2 old fashioned kissin' & huggin',
ain't nothin' on the radio,
makes u wanna fall in love,
ain't nothin' on a video,
makes u wanna fall in love,
the evening news with their political views,
fashion tips about what 2 wear, which pair of shoes,
who's goin' 2 war with who, and the economy goin' down the tubes,
ain't nothin' uplifitin' ain't nothin' about makin' u smile,
could we get a love song,
could we get a romantic movie,
could we get a headline,
that says now is the time,
2 hold somebody's hand,
share with them a kiss,
can we all,.. can we all...
fall....cuz there ain't nothin' at all!!
ain't nothin' on the radio,
makes u wanna fall, makes u wanna dance,
what happened 2 the days,
when it was all about romance,
ain't nothin' at the movies
ain't nothin' on the t.v.
2 show these kids what love's really all about
what this world really needs,
is some good ol, l o v e,
what this world really needs,
is some good ol, l o v e,
but there ain't,
nothin' on the radio,
makes u wanna fall in love...
turn the radio off!
Uncomfortably Numb
4 Once I'd love 2 feel,
4 Once I'd love 4 the wounds 2 heal,
4 Once I'd love 4 the scars 2 fade,
4 Once I'd love 4 the nightmares 2 go away,
I'd really like 2 get over it,
I'd really like 2 let it go,
I'd really like 2 move on,
I'd really like 2 no longer be,
Uncomfortably Numb
4 Once I'd love 2 not fake a smile,
4 Once I'd love 2 be amongst the living 4 a while,
4 Once I'd love 2 say I'm healing,
4 Once I'd love 2 say I'm who I was always supposed 2 be,
I'd love 2 Move On,
I'd love 2 LET IT GO,
I'd love 2 GET OVER IT,
I'd love 2 no longer be..
Uncomfortably Numb
4 Once I'd love 2 hold my head high,
4 Once I'd love 2 look myself in the eye,
4 Once I'd love 2 be introduced 2 Happy,
4 Once I'd love 2 not feel everybody glaring at me,
I'd f•••ing LOVE 2 GET OVER IT!
I'd f•••ing LOVE 2 LET IT GO!!
I'd f•••ing LOVE 2 MOVE ON!!
I'd f•••ing LOVE 2 NO LONGER BE...
UNCOMFORTABLY NUMB
4 Once I'd love 4 the wounds 2 heal,
4 Once I'd love 4 the scars 2 fade,
4 Once I'd love 4 the nightmares 2 go away,
I'd really like 2 get over it,
I'd really like 2 let it go,
I'd really like 2 move on,
I'd really like 2 no longer be,
Uncomfortably Numb
4 Once I'd love 2 not fake a smile,
4 Once I'd love 2 be amongst the living 4 a while,
4 Once I'd love 2 say I'm healing,
4 Once I'd love 2 say I'm who I was always supposed 2 be,
I'd love 2 Move On,
I'd love 2 LET IT GO,
I'd love 2 GET OVER IT,
I'd love 2 no longer be..
Uncomfortably Numb
4 Once I'd love 2 hold my head high,
4 Once I'd love 2 look myself in the eye,
4 Once I'd love 2 be introduced 2 Happy,
4 Once I'd love 2 not feel everybody glaring at me,
I'd f•••ing LOVE 2 GET OVER IT!
I'd f•••ing LOVE 2 LET IT GO!!
I'd f•••ing LOVE 2 MOVE ON!!
I'd f•••ing LOVE 2 NO LONGER BE...
UNCOMFORTABLY NUMB
Sorry
I was only 10 years old,
How'd I make the decision,
2 be beat down like I stole somethin,
In 2 submission,
Listen,
If u wanna downplay my pain,
Take it all away,
Change my name,
Give me a new identity,
I don't want this,
But if u're just dying to know what happened 2 chris..,
Bonnie went 2 Jail,
Charles did 2,
Pastor came in,
Said your sister or u,
She was only 1 what was I supposed to do?
He told pat & johnny and every night,
They did it to,
And every day there was a beating,
Or a suffocation,
Locked for days inside a closet,
No provocation,
Then Debbie,
Well Debbie thought of me as a problem,
And closed fists, belts and welts,
Was her way 2 solve it,
Black eyes for breakfast,
Right before class,
She slept with school boys so they would beat my ass,
After class unless I learned 2 duck, hide or run fast,
For 4 years I was held captive, destroyed, tortured,
Not physically, but mentally bloody murdered,
Why can't I sleep in December u wanna know?
Cuz that's when it all started all those years ago,
Bruises may have healed but the scars remain open,
Nightmares nightly put me back in those moments,
Reliving it all again like it was real time,
Soon as my head hits the pillow and my eyes shut,
I'll tell u what,
If u could walk in my 10 year old shoes for a minute,
U wouldn't be able stand it,
Let alone comprehend it,
So I'll light up a single candle on the cake at MY pitty party,
And if my December bothers any of u...I'm sorry
How'd I make the decision,
2 be beat down like I stole somethin,
In 2 submission,
Listen,
If u wanna downplay my pain,
Take it all away,
Change my name,
Give me a new identity,
I don't want this,
But if u're just dying to know what happened 2 chris..,
Bonnie went 2 Jail,
Charles did 2,
Pastor came in,
Said your sister or u,
She was only 1 what was I supposed to do?
He told pat & johnny and every night,
They did it to,
And every day there was a beating,
Or a suffocation,
Locked for days inside a closet,
No provocation,
Then Debbie,
Well Debbie thought of me as a problem,
And closed fists, belts and welts,
Was her way 2 solve it,
Black eyes for breakfast,
Right before class,
She slept with school boys so they would beat my ass,
After class unless I learned 2 duck, hide or run fast,
For 4 years I was held captive, destroyed, tortured,
Not physically, but mentally bloody murdered,
Why can't I sleep in December u wanna know?
Cuz that's when it all started all those years ago,
Bruises may have healed but the scars remain open,
Nightmares nightly put me back in those moments,
Reliving it all again like it was real time,
Soon as my head hits the pillow and my eyes shut,
I'll tell u what,
If u could walk in my 10 year old shoes for a minute,
U wouldn't be able stand it,
Let alone comprehend it,
So I'll light up a single candle on the cake at MY pitty party,
And if my December bothers any of u...I'm sorry
Happiness
i knew u once when i was very small,
now we don't even talk at all,
u never come around,
u left me alone,
why'd u leave me all alone?
u used 2 be just a word away,
and we shared everyday,
but then u left without a single why,
no return address and no goodbye,
happiness...
i used 2 count on u,
when i thought i'd never make it thru,
u could bring a smile out of the blue,
the only thing i knew was true,
my closest friend,
thick as thieves,
tell me why u had 2 leave,
happiness...
i just wanna smile again,
laugh again,
play pretend i'm invincible,
believe that i can fly,
4get every tear ever in my eye,
so tell me why...
u had 2 go...
happiness.....
yeah,
i just wanna smile again,
laugh again,
play pretend i'm invincible,
sing in the right key,
believe that i can fly,
4get every tear ever in my eye,
have just enough courage 2 try,
so tell me why... u had 2 go..
happiness..
now we don't even talk at all,
u never come around,
u left me alone,
why'd u leave me all alone?
u used 2 be just a word away,
and we shared everyday,
but then u left without a single why,
no return address and no goodbye,
happiness...
i used 2 count on u,
when i thought i'd never make it thru,
u could bring a smile out of the blue,
the only thing i knew was true,
my closest friend,
thick as thieves,
tell me why u had 2 leave,
happiness...
i just wanna smile again,
laugh again,
play pretend i'm invincible,
believe that i can fly,
4get every tear ever in my eye,
so tell me why...
u had 2 go...
happiness.....
yeah,
i just wanna smile again,
laugh again,
play pretend i'm invincible,
sing in the right key,
believe that i can fly,
4get every tear ever in my eye,
have just enough courage 2 try,
so tell me why... u had 2 go..
happiness..
1085
Twas the lowest low I could possibly go,
I mean a subzero cold shoulder,
Ditched on the side of the road,
Feeling that had never been realized before,
Alone in the most crowded of all
Crowded rooms,
Where the happy faced people look down on the doomed,
And the icy chill in the air felt like the dirt of a tomb...
Consumed by the past, the guilt the shame and the blame,
The blasphemy from the echoing sound of their names,
A child born 10 years from the womb,
Was Taken, pushed down, spit on, & forgotten about,
It crashed in2 the mem'ry like a wall had collapsed,
A wound reopened and was hemorrhaging fast,
I wished it all away, I wished it all away,
So with the iron clad will and a scared 2 death hand,
The nightmares took stand over their opponent with an upperhand,
And when the dark was getting closer,
She walked in...
It was the eve of the eve of the holiest day,
When life's next victim was turning away,
When the boy 32 years from the womb,
Was ready to go,
No longer stood upon, taken & beaten in haste, another supposed to be angel, laying amongst the waste, just a last breath wish and a world kissed...
Goodbye
Almost..
1085 days ago
I mean a subzero cold shoulder,
Ditched on the side of the road,
Feeling that had never been realized before,
Alone in the most crowded of all
Crowded rooms,
Where the happy faced people look down on the doomed,
And the icy chill in the air felt like the dirt of a tomb...
Consumed by the past, the guilt the shame and the blame,
The blasphemy from the echoing sound of their names,
A child born 10 years from the womb,
Was Taken, pushed down, spit on, & forgotten about,
It crashed in2 the mem'ry like a wall had collapsed,
A wound reopened and was hemorrhaging fast,
I wished it all away, I wished it all away,
So with the iron clad will and a scared 2 death hand,
The nightmares took stand over their opponent with an upperhand,
And when the dark was getting closer,
She walked in...
It was the eve of the eve of the holiest day,
When life's next victim was turning away,
When the boy 32 years from the womb,
Was ready to go,
No longer stood upon, taken & beaten in haste, another supposed to be angel, laying amongst the waste, just a last breath wish and a world kissed...
Goodbye
Almost..
1085 days ago
Hush
Hush
No apology needed it wasn't under ur control,
Hush
I don't really wanna talk anymore about it,
I'd rather be okay..
I who am broken,
I who am bleeding,
Am desperately needing a warm place 2 hide away,
And;
A pair of eyes that can really SEE ME,
2 arms that aren't 2 closed 2 HUG,
A shoulder that knows how 2 catch tears,
And a mouth that knows how 2 ...hush...
Shhh
It won't make it any better if u apologize,
Shhh
Please don't try 2 empathize,
Cuz;
It's not OVER, it's NEVER OVER,
Every night begins anew,
Just be there 4 me when I need u,
Just be a friend, a real friend is all I never knew,
I who am Broken,
I who am Bleeding,
Am desperately needing a warm place 2 hide away,
And;
A pair of eyes that can SEE ME,
2 arms not 2 closed to HUG,
A shoulder that knows how 2 CATCH TEARS,
A pair of ears that can LISTEN & REALLY HEAR,
And a mouth that knows how to HUSH......
Just be that someone who won't push me away,
Offer the closeness of a conversation when there's nothing 2 say,
When all there is to do is hush...
Hush
Hush
Just hush
Shhhhhhhhhhh............
No apology needed it wasn't under ur control,
Hush
I don't really wanna talk anymore about it,
I'd rather be okay..
I who am broken,
I who am bleeding,
Am desperately needing a warm place 2 hide away,
And;
A pair of eyes that can really SEE ME,
2 arms that aren't 2 closed 2 HUG,
A shoulder that knows how 2 catch tears,
And a mouth that knows how 2 ...hush...
Shhh
It won't make it any better if u apologize,
Shhh
Please don't try 2 empathize,
Cuz;
It's not OVER, it's NEVER OVER,
Every night begins anew,
Just be there 4 me when I need u,
Just be a friend, a real friend is all I never knew,
I who am Broken,
I who am Bleeding,
Am desperately needing a warm place 2 hide away,
And;
A pair of eyes that can SEE ME,
2 arms not 2 closed to HUG,
A shoulder that knows how 2 CATCH TEARS,
A pair of ears that can LISTEN & REALLY HEAR,
And a mouth that knows how to HUSH......
Just be that someone who won't push me away,
Offer the closeness of a conversation when there's nothing 2 say,
When all there is to do is hush...
Hush
Hush
Just hush
Shhhhhhhhhhh............
Lay Still in the Silence
Lay still in the silence,
Think about what u did 2day,
Lay still in the silence,
Who'd u say it 2,
What did u say?
U preach about god,
But u don't follow his word,
U judge, u point the finger,
U disrespect those who don't agree with u,
U lie, u try 2 represent,
But when a soldier's laid 2 rest,
U have the audacity to speak 4 god and say,
He don't love u,
Perhaps u should take a moment,
A couple steps away,
And think, think, and really really think...
Lay still in the silence,
Think about what matters most 2 u,
Lay still in the silence,
Tell the truth,
What would u do,
If somebody protested someone u love,
At their funeral,
How could they be so cruel,
2 choose 2 use ur last day,
2 fuel a hateful fire?!
And 4 your right 2 behave this way,
They're over there fighting still 2day,
So u can hold up signs saying god hates fags,
What harm has come 2 u that u can't see passed,
Ur nose 2 spite ur face?
Cuz I was taught we were made within GOD's image,
EVERYBODY equal, with no blemish,
United we stand, divided we fall,
Put down ur protest signs so we can all...
Lay still in the silence,
And thank him for laying down his life,
Lay still in the silence,
Say a prayer for his daughter and his soon 2 be wife,
Lay still in the silence,
Honor those who've beared their cross,
So that our freedom isn't lost,
And let each and every soldier's soul..
Get HOME 2 Jesus,
Far away from this madness,
Sorrow and senseless violence,
And let their families...
Lay still in the silence...
R.I.P. Lance Corporal Kenneth Corzine
Think about what u did 2day,
Lay still in the silence,
Who'd u say it 2,
What did u say?
U preach about god,
But u don't follow his word,
U judge, u point the finger,
U disrespect those who don't agree with u,
U lie, u try 2 represent,
But when a soldier's laid 2 rest,
U have the audacity to speak 4 god and say,
He don't love u,
Perhaps u should take a moment,
A couple steps away,
And think, think, and really really think...
Lay still in the silence,
Think about what matters most 2 u,
Lay still in the silence,
Tell the truth,
What would u do,
If somebody protested someone u love,
At their funeral,
How could they be so cruel,
2 choose 2 use ur last day,
2 fuel a hateful fire?!
And 4 your right 2 behave this way,
They're over there fighting still 2day,
So u can hold up signs saying god hates fags,
What harm has come 2 u that u can't see passed,
Ur nose 2 spite ur face?
Cuz I was taught we were made within GOD's image,
EVERYBODY equal, with no blemish,
United we stand, divided we fall,
Put down ur protest signs so we can all...
Lay still in the silence,
And thank him for laying down his life,
Lay still in the silence,
Say a prayer for his daughter and his soon 2 be wife,
Lay still in the silence,
Honor those who've beared their cross,
So that our freedom isn't lost,
And let each and every soldier's soul..
Get HOME 2 Jesus,
Far away from this madness,
Sorrow and senseless violence,
And let their families...
Lay still in the silence...
R.I.P. Lance Corporal Kenneth Corzine
Home of the Brave
The whole town's lined with flags 4 u this mornin'
The whole community is by ur side,
Those 4 whom u fought 4 freedom,
Will be there with somber hearts full of pride,
Isn't very often that a hero comes 2 town,
So it isn't very often that we have 2 lay 1 down,
And there are those who'd stand against u,
4 all that u stood 4,
Yet u defended their rights 2, when u went off 2 war,
And u by definition are the reason that we say,
America
Land of the Free,
Home of the Brave,
Some talk about goin'
Sayin there's somethin' they must do,
There's others 2 scared to sacrifice,
Then, of course, there's u,
And it isn't very often that a hero comes 2 town,
Isn't very often that we have 2 lay 1 down,
There's those who'd stand against all that u fought 4,
But u defended their rights 2, when u went off 2 war,
U, by definition, are the reason we can say,
America
Land of the Free,
Home of the Brave,
And thank u doesn't seem enough 2 say 4 ur sacrifice,
So we'll say a prayer of peace 4 all of ur loved ones,
2day when they see all those flags flying,
And those people in that "chain",
Protecting the family of a soldier who didn't die in vain,
Cuz u made it possible 4 us all 2 stand and say,
America
LAND OF THE FREE,
HOME OF THE BRAVE
THANK U
The whole community is by ur side,
Those 4 whom u fought 4 freedom,
Will be there with somber hearts full of pride,
Isn't very often that a hero comes 2 town,
So it isn't very often that we have 2 lay 1 down,
And there are those who'd stand against u,
4 all that u stood 4,
Yet u defended their rights 2, when u went off 2 war,
And u by definition are the reason that we say,
America
Land of the Free,
Home of the Brave,
Some talk about goin'
Sayin there's somethin' they must do,
There's others 2 scared to sacrifice,
Then, of course, there's u,
And it isn't very often that a hero comes 2 town,
Isn't very often that we have 2 lay 1 down,
There's those who'd stand against all that u fought 4,
But u defended their rights 2, when u went off 2 war,
U, by definition, are the reason we can say,
America
Land of the Free,
Home of the Brave,
And thank u doesn't seem enough 2 say 4 ur sacrifice,
So we'll say a prayer of peace 4 all of ur loved ones,
2day when they see all those flags flying,
And those people in that "chain",
Protecting the family of a soldier who didn't die in vain,
Cuz u made it possible 4 us all 2 stand and say,
America
LAND OF THE FREE,
HOME OF THE BRAVE
THANK U
Soulgasm
lovely is this night,
the moon is shining so bright,
the tempertature is perfect,
for cuddling closer,
we'll put a movie on,
the one u've waited for so long,
and after we'll slow dance,
2 your favorite song,
it's been a long time comin'
we needed 2 do somethin'
get back in2 the lovin' all night long,
i'm ready if u are willin'
2 share the most intimate feelin'
a soulgasm,
body mind and soul,
just let yourself go,
we're gonna take,
our sweetest time when we make love,
no kids and no where 2 be,
cept right here with u,
and u here with me,
kiss me.. let's see where it leads,
i'll run your bubble bath,
warm up the oil and massage your back,
been spendin' 2 much time off track,
and it's time we get this show on the row,
if we love as much as we say,
we're gonna put it all in play,
as 2day, turns into 2night and 2morrow,
i'll kiss u back.. do u like that?
it's been a long time comin'
we needed 2 do somethin'
get back in2 the lovin' all night long,
i'm ready if u are willin'
2 share the most intimate feelin'
a soulgasm,
reintroduce your erotic and free side 2 mine,
2 night, 2 hearts, 2 hands, 2 mouths and 2 minds, intertwine,
till we become as 1,
i'll melt in2 u, melting in2 me,
a thousand seperate moments of ecstacy..
it's been a long time comin'
we needed 2 do somethin'
get back in2 the lovin' all night long,
i'm ready if u are willin'
2 share the most intimate feelin'
a soulgasm,
it's been a long time, long time, long time, long time, long time comin'
baby i know we've been needin' 2 do a lil somethin' somethin'
oh, we gotta get back 2 lovin' like we used 2 be lovin' all night long,
i'm so ready, if u tell me u're willin'
2 share with u this most intimate of feelins,
it's a body, a mind, a loss of total control,
a tremble, a quiver, a twitch...a soul....a soul....
soulgasm...
dontchawannacome?
the moon is shining so bright,
the tempertature is perfect,
for cuddling closer,
we'll put a movie on,
the one u've waited for so long,
and after we'll slow dance,
2 your favorite song,
it's been a long time comin'
we needed 2 do somethin'
get back in2 the lovin' all night long,
i'm ready if u are willin'
2 share the most intimate feelin'
a soulgasm,
body mind and soul,
just let yourself go,
we're gonna take,
our sweetest time when we make love,
no kids and no where 2 be,
cept right here with u,
and u here with me,
kiss me.. let's see where it leads,
i'll run your bubble bath,
warm up the oil and massage your back,
been spendin' 2 much time off track,
and it's time we get this show on the row,
if we love as much as we say,
we're gonna put it all in play,
as 2day, turns into 2night and 2morrow,
i'll kiss u back.. do u like that?
it's been a long time comin'
we needed 2 do somethin'
get back in2 the lovin' all night long,
i'm ready if u are willin'
2 share the most intimate feelin'
a soulgasm,
reintroduce your erotic and free side 2 mine,
2 night, 2 hearts, 2 hands, 2 mouths and 2 minds, intertwine,
till we become as 1,
i'll melt in2 u, melting in2 me,
a thousand seperate moments of ecstacy..
it's been a long time comin'
we needed 2 do somethin'
get back in2 the lovin' all night long,
i'm ready if u are willin'
2 share the most intimate feelin'
a soulgasm,
it's been a long time, long time, long time, long time, long time comin'
baby i know we've been needin' 2 do a lil somethin' somethin'
oh, we gotta get back 2 lovin' like we used 2 be lovin' all night long,
i'm so ready, if u tell me u're willin'
2 share with u this most intimate of feelins,
it's a body, a mind, a loss of total control,
a tremble, a quiver, a twitch...a soul....a soul....
soulgasm...
dontchawannacome?
Treasure U R
All of the stars up in the sky,
Could not outshine ur pretty eyes,
And each day with u is a new and sweet surprise,
Another adventure in thus day 2 day that we call "our lives"
And it would seem 2 me,
that it would never occur 2 u,
2 see in u, what others do,
U'd never admit that u're beautiful,
Or that when u give, u give with all ur heart,
U may not think I see, but it's u who doesn't see,
Just what a,
Treasure u r......
Wasted my time chasing empty pots of gold,
Never found the end of a rainbow,
Never one 2 hold or complete my soul till u,
What a wonderful girl, who became my friend,
My lover and my wife,
And u, put up with more than ur share,
Yet u're always there,
Cuz when u love, u love 4ever,
I'll never go 2 far,
From the beating of ur heart,
It's the tempo 2 my every song,
It's my home,
It's where I belong,
Where I feel strong,
U really don't know...
How much of a
Treasure u r...
But when u just hold my hand,
U make me understand,
U make me wanna be a better man,
When u kiss, u kiss with all ur might,
What gives u the right?
2 make me fall in love again,
Cuz I fall in love again with u, all over,
And it would seem 2 me,
That it would never occur 2 u,
U'd never admit u're beautiful,
And when u love, u love with all ur heart,
U may not think I see,
But it's u who doesn't see,
Just what a...
Treasure U R...
Could not outshine ur pretty eyes,
And each day with u is a new and sweet surprise,
Another adventure in thus day 2 day that we call "our lives"
And it would seem 2 me,
that it would never occur 2 u,
2 see in u, what others do,
U'd never admit that u're beautiful,
Or that when u give, u give with all ur heart,
U may not think I see, but it's u who doesn't see,
Just what a,
Treasure u r......
Wasted my time chasing empty pots of gold,
Never found the end of a rainbow,
Never one 2 hold or complete my soul till u,
What a wonderful girl, who became my friend,
My lover and my wife,
And u, put up with more than ur share,
Yet u're always there,
Cuz when u love, u love 4ever,
I'll never go 2 far,
From the beating of ur heart,
It's the tempo 2 my every song,
It's my home,
It's where I belong,
Where I feel strong,
U really don't know...
How much of a
Treasure u r...
But when u just hold my hand,
U make me understand,
U make me wanna be a better man,
When u kiss, u kiss with all ur might,
What gives u the right?
2 make me fall in love again,
Cuz I fall in love again with u, all over,
And it would seem 2 me,
That it would never occur 2 u,
U'd never admit u're beautiful,
And when u love, u love with all ur heart,
U may not think I see,
But it's u who doesn't see,
Just what a...
Treasure U R...
Fly
U may be leaving,
Way before ur time,
Way before I'm ready 2 let u,
But if it's in his will,
And u've been fitted for ur wings,
I'll watch u fly
I'll watch u fly,
I'll shed a million tears,
Have myself a real good cry,
I'll say "until", never good bye,
Cuz every time I look 2 the sky,
I'll watch u fly,
Things u taught me,
They'll stay with me,
I'll pass it onto my babies,
And u will live on,
U'll never really be gone...
I'll see ur halo in every sun,
Ur wings in every cloud,
Hear ur voice in every wind,
And until we're together again...
I'll watch u fly,
I'll watch u fly,
Shed a million tears,
Have myself a real good cry,
I'll say until, never say good bye,
Cuz every time I look up in the sky,
I'll watch u fly....
If I ever feel all alone,
I know all I have to do is look up,
And watch u fly....
Dedicated to all my friends who've lost a loved one..
Chris
Way before ur time,
Way before I'm ready 2 let u,
But if it's in his will,
And u've been fitted for ur wings,
I'll watch u fly
I'll watch u fly,
I'll shed a million tears,
Have myself a real good cry,
I'll say "until", never good bye,
Cuz every time I look 2 the sky,
I'll watch u fly,
Things u taught me,
They'll stay with me,
I'll pass it onto my babies,
And u will live on,
U'll never really be gone...
I'll see ur halo in every sun,
Ur wings in every cloud,
Hear ur voice in every wind,
And until we're together again...
I'll watch u fly,
I'll watch u fly,
Shed a million tears,
Have myself a real good cry,
I'll say until, never say good bye,
Cuz every time I look up in the sky,
I'll watch u fly....
If I ever feel all alone,
I know all I have to do is look up,
And watch u fly....
Dedicated to all my friends who've lost a loved one..
Chris
How 2 Live Again
what i wouldn't give 2 see u,
see u and know it would be my last time,
then i could find the words 2 tell u,
everything that is still on my mind,
like did u know how much u meant 2 me,
did i say i love u enough,
did i hug u with all my might,
and beg u 2 not say goodbye,
u have no idea how much i miss u,
and this pain won't seem 2 go away,
find myself, talking 2 your pictures,
pretending i'm not going crazy,
i ask God weren't there enough angels,
couldn't he have left u,
why couldn't u just have stayed a little longer,
wish i could be just a little stronger,
cuz u were my life,
more than i ever knew,
more than i admitted u 2 be,
when u left, a part of me went with u,
and now i need,
someone 2 teach me,
how 2 live again
don't wanna get out of my bed,
wanna stay here and dream,
don't want any thoughts 2 get in2 my head,
cuz that's where i keep your memories,
2 some u were just another,
2 even more u were a friend,
want u 2 know, there won't be any other,
that'll touch my heart like u did,
every word that u said i've memorized it,
every smile i can see as if it were in front of me,
oh, if only time could have stopped the day before,
i know u'd be right here with me,
and we'd be laughing about old times,
we would be talking bout whatever,
it'd be like bill murray in groundhog day,
we'd relive those last moments forever..
u were my life,
more than i ever knew,
more than i admitted u 2 be,
when u left, a part of me went with u,
and now i need,
someone 2 teach me,
how 2 live again
what i wouldn't give 2 see u,
see u and know it would be my last time,
then i could find the words 2 tell u,
everything that is still on my mind,
and u could teach me,
how 2 live again
see u and know it would be my last time,
then i could find the words 2 tell u,
everything that is still on my mind,
like did u know how much u meant 2 me,
did i say i love u enough,
did i hug u with all my might,
and beg u 2 not say goodbye,
u have no idea how much i miss u,
and this pain won't seem 2 go away,
find myself, talking 2 your pictures,
pretending i'm not going crazy,
i ask God weren't there enough angels,
couldn't he have left u,
why couldn't u just have stayed a little longer,
wish i could be just a little stronger,
cuz u were my life,
more than i ever knew,
more than i admitted u 2 be,
when u left, a part of me went with u,
and now i need,
someone 2 teach me,
how 2 live again
don't wanna get out of my bed,
wanna stay here and dream,
don't want any thoughts 2 get in2 my head,
cuz that's where i keep your memories,
2 some u were just another,
2 even more u were a friend,
want u 2 know, there won't be any other,
that'll touch my heart like u did,
every word that u said i've memorized it,
every smile i can see as if it were in front of me,
oh, if only time could have stopped the day before,
i know u'd be right here with me,
and we'd be laughing about old times,
we would be talking bout whatever,
it'd be like bill murray in groundhog day,
we'd relive those last moments forever..
u were my life,
more than i ever knew,
more than i admitted u 2 be,
when u left, a part of me went with u,
and now i need,
someone 2 teach me,
how 2 live again
what i wouldn't give 2 see u,
see u and know it would be my last time,
then i could find the words 2 tell u,
everything that is still on my mind,
and u could teach me,
how 2 live again
Became
I was nothing,
Just a shadow on a wall,
No one was looking 4,
So no one ever knew me at all,
I was all alone,
All I had was one thing,
Hope that one day I'd meet,
Something or someone,
Then there was u..
And I became alive,
I became a man,
I became invincible,
When u took my hand,
I felt a love, that could not be contained,
And I'll never go back to what I was,
Before I
Became......
U shined up all the dullness,
U brought out the light,
U took away everything that was wrong,
U made everything all right,
Now when somebody asks me,
How I made the change,
I just say ur name,
It's because of u,
That I
Became alive,
I became a man,
I became invincible,when u took my hand,
I felt a love that could not be contained,
And I'll never go back 2 what I was,
Before I,
Became...
I became Alive,
I became a Man,
I became invincible,
The minute u took my hand,
U gave me a love,
That cannot be contained,
And I'm forever indebted 2 u,
4...what I...
Became
Just a shadow on a wall,
No one was looking 4,
So no one ever knew me at all,
I was all alone,
All I had was one thing,
Hope that one day I'd meet,
Something or someone,
Then there was u..
And I became alive,
I became a man,
I became invincible,
When u took my hand,
I felt a love, that could not be contained,
And I'll never go back to what I was,
Before I
Became......
U shined up all the dullness,
U brought out the light,
U took away everything that was wrong,
U made everything all right,
Now when somebody asks me,
How I made the change,
I just say ur name,
It's because of u,
That I
Became alive,
I became a man,
I became invincible,when u took my hand,
I felt a love that could not be contained,
And I'll never go back 2 what I was,
Before I,
Became...
I became Alive,
I became a Man,
I became invincible,
The minute u took my hand,
U gave me a love,
That cannot be contained,
And I'm forever indebted 2 u,
4...what I...
Became
Legacy
if today was my last day,
and tomorrow u had 2 say,
a few words 2 sum up,
this crazy life of mine,
would u speak kindly,
would u be matter of fact,
would u be able 2 speak loudly,
would u be proud of me?
oh, i know it's sometimes hard 2 love me,
u gotta know it's even harder sometimes 4 me 2 love myself,
the things i've seen, the pain i've felt,
the walls i build, my trip thru hell,
what will u say of my legacy?
did i leave things with an accurate picture of me?
was i as true as i said i was,
was i all u needed me 2 be,
if today was my last day,
2morrow, what would u say of me?
could u stand up, in a crowd of people,
and tell my story and say my name with love,
would u leave anything out,
what would u talk about,
did i do... the best i can,
was i a good man?
did i take my daddy's last name,
and make it solid?
did i teach my children 2 keep it the same?
do ya think i'll go down below or up above?
did i try hard enough? or did i live in vain?
oh, i know it's sometimes hard 2 love me,
u gotta know it's even harder sometimes 4 me 2 love myself,
the things i've seen, the pain i've felt,
the walls i build, my trip thru hell,
what will u say of my legacy?
did i leave things with an accurate picture of me?
was i as true as i said i was,
was i all u needed me 2 be,
if today was my last day,
2morrow, what would u say of me?
would u speak kindly,
would u speak matter of fact,
would u call out those who had my back,
would u tell the ones i loved it'll be okay?
would u give my kids a big ol kiss,
would u tell 'em how much they'll be missed,
would u be proud of me?
oh i know sometimes i made it hard 2 love me,
and u know that it's even harder 4 me 2 love myself,
those walls i built, from all the pain i've felt,
from the things i've seen, my young trip 2 hell,
did i leave an accurate picture of me?
if 2day was my last day...
what would be my.....legacy?
and tomorrow u had 2 say,
a few words 2 sum up,
this crazy life of mine,
would u speak kindly,
would u be matter of fact,
would u be able 2 speak loudly,
would u be proud of me?
oh, i know it's sometimes hard 2 love me,
u gotta know it's even harder sometimes 4 me 2 love myself,
the things i've seen, the pain i've felt,
the walls i build, my trip thru hell,
what will u say of my legacy?
did i leave things with an accurate picture of me?
was i as true as i said i was,
was i all u needed me 2 be,
if today was my last day,
2morrow, what would u say of me?
could u stand up, in a crowd of people,
and tell my story and say my name with love,
would u leave anything out,
what would u talk about,
did i do... the best i can,
was i a good man?
did i take my daddy's last name,
and make it solid?
did i teach my children 2 keep it the same?
do ya think i'll go down below or up above?
did i try hard enough? or did i live in vain?
oh, i know it's sometimes hard 2 love me,
u gotta know it's even harder sometimes 4 me 2 love myself,
the things i've seen, the pain i've felt,
the walls i build, my trip thru hell,
what will u say of my legacy?
did i leave things with an accurate picture of me?
was i as true as i said i was,
was i all u needed me 2 be,
if today was my last day,
2morrow, what would u say of me?
would u speak kindly,
would u speak matter of fact,
would u call out those who had my back,
would u tell the ones i loved it'll be okay?
would u give my kids a big ol kiss,
would u tell 'em how much they'll be missed,
would u be proud of me?
oh i know sometimes i made it hard 2 love me,
and u know that it's even harder 4 me 2 love myself,
those walls i built, from all the pain i've felt,
from the things i've seen, my young trip 2 hell,
did i leave an accurate picture of me?
if 2day was my last day...
what would be my.....legacy?
Mess
She said "sit down,....I need 2 talk 2 u.."
U're never happy,
Always mad at me,
Haven't seen u smile,
Since i don't know when,
And though I want u,
I just don't want 2,
Be here with u,
While u hate urself,
Don't get me wrong,
I'll always love u,
And u'll know where 2 find me,
If u dint take 2 long 2;
Clean up this mess,
Tear down the walls that,
U've put up between us,
Get rid of the stress,
Put the past in the past,
Give ur mind and heart a rest,
Clean up this mess..
U're never happy,
Always mad at me,
Haven't seen u smile,
Since I don't know when...
Clean up this...
Mess
U're never happy,
Always mad at me,
Haven't seen u smile,
Since i don't know when,
And though I want u,
I just don't want 2,
Be here with u,
While u hate urself,
Don't get me wrong,
I'll always love u,
And u'll know where 2 find me,
If u dint take 2 long 2;
Clean up this mess,
Tear down the walls that,
U've put up between us,
Get rid of the stress,
Put the past in the past,
Give ur mind and heart a rest,
Clean up this mess..
U're never happy,
Always mad at me,
Haven't seen u smile,
Since I don't know when...
Clean up this...
Mess
If It Takes All Night
This big ol world is gonna spin,
And there ain't a thing we can do 2 make it end,
So instead of succumbing 2 the the things we can't change,
Let's take a breath, and stop 4 a sec,
Clock on the wall says it's the kids' bedtime,
And that means it's our time, it's our time,
If it takes all night I'm gonna love u,
Till our troubles are as outta mind,
As they are sight,
If 2morrow comes and we're late for work,
What the hell will it hurt,
Cuz I'm in the mood, and I can see it in ur eyes,
So pull down them blankets and close the door,
We're gonna over use what our hearts are 4,
Set the alarm in case we crash,
But I don't think I'll have 2 worry bout that,
Ain't gotta worry bout that,
Just cast ur cares aside and climb in2 my arms,
And get ready for, what's in store...
Cuz if it takes all night I'm gonna love u,
Till our troubles are as outta mind,
As they are sight,
If 2morrow comes and we're late 4 work,
What the hell will it hurt,
Cuz ure in the mood,
I can see it in ur eyes,
That u won't mind,
If it's like old times,
So pack u a lunch,
Cuz I'm gonna love u,
And I'm gonna do it right,
If it takes,
It's gonna take,
All night.
And there ain't a thing we can do 2 make it end,
So instead of succumbing 2 the the things we can't change,
Let's take a breath, and stop 4 a sec,
Clock on the wall says it's the kids' bedtime,
And that means it's our time, it's our time,
If it takes all night I'm gonna love u,
Till our troubles are as outta mind,
As they are sight,
If 2morrow comes and we're late for work,
What the hell will it hurt,
Cuz I'm in the mood, and I can see it in ur eyes,
So pull down them blankets and close the door,
We're gonna over use what our hearts are 4,
Set the alarm in case we crash,
But I don't think I'll have 2 worry bout that,
Ain't gotta worry bout that,
Just cast ur cares aside and climb in2 my arms,
And get ready for, what's in store...
Cuz if it takes all night I'm gonna love u,
Till our troubles are as outta mind,
As they are sight,
If 2morrow comes and we're late 4 work,
What the hell will it hurt,
Cuz ure in the mood,
I can see it in ur eyes,
That u won't mind,
If it's like old times,
So pack u a lunch,
Cuz I'm gonna love u,
And I'm gonna do it right,
If it takes,
It's gonna take,
All night.
Texas Size Grin
It'd been a while,
Then u came 2 see me,
Felt like a family again,
And u turned a frown,
Up side down,
Turned in2 a Texas size grin,
Looks like u're doin good,
Like u're healthy and strong,
Happy as u've ever been,
And ur once worn frown,
Has been turned upside down,
In2 a Texas size grin,
The joy in hello,
The pain of goodbye,
I wouldn't let u see me cry,
U're in a good place,
Can see it in ur face,
Finally LIVING ur life,
And I still support u,
Like I've always supported u,
Long as u call now and then,
Cuz u turn ur brother's frown,
Upside down,
And in2 a Texas size grin,
U've been gone an hour,
The longest hour,
That 35 years I've been in,
Say be4 u go,
U'll stop by & see me again,
I'll count the seconds,
Every single minute,
Until u are here and then,
Turn this newly worn frown,
Back upside down,
And in2 a Texas size grin..
It'd been a while,
And u came 2 see me,
Felt like a family again,
U turned a frown,
Up side down,
And in2 a Texas size grin..
Then u came 2 see me,
Felt like a family again,
And u turned a frown,
Up side down,
Turned in2 a Texas size grin,
Looks like u're doin good,
Like u're healthy and strong,
Happy as u've ever been,
And ur once worn frown,
Has been turned upside down,
In2 a Texas size grin,
The joy in hello,
The pain of goodbye,
I wouldn't let u see me cry,
U're in a good place,
Can see it in ur face,
Finally LIVING ur life,
And I still support u,
Like I've always supported u,
Long as u call now and then,
Cuz u turn ur brother's frown,
Upside down,
And in2 a Texas size grin,
U've been gone an hour,
The longest hour,
That 35 years I've been in,
Say be4 u go,
U'll stop by & see me again,
I'll count the seconds,
Every single minute,
Until u are here and then,
Turn this newly worn frown,
Back upside down,
And in2 a Texas size grin..
It'd been a while,
And u came 2 see me,
Felt like a family again,
U turned a frown,
Up side down,
And in2 a Texas size grin..
Calling
Can u hear me?! Don't u hear me calling u?!
R u gonna answer me?! Tell me what the hell I'm s'posed 2 do?!
It's like an echo of laughter is sucking up the air in this place,
I'm calling and I'm calling 4 u! Can't u see the tears running down my face?!
It's like a doubled vision, an icy road collision,
There's no way 2 avoid this condition I'm slipping in,
It's like there's words I have 2 say!
And everybody's disappeared,
It's just the mirror..it's just the mirror and it's just me!!!
Can u hear me?! Can u hear me calling u?!
R u ever gonna answer me?!!
Tell me what the hell I'm s'posed 2 do!!
This echo of ur laughter is sucking the air out of this place,
I'm calling and I'm calling 4 u!!
Can't u see the tears running down my...face?!!!
Peace only reveals itself,
When u'd come 2 me,
When u cared enough 2 smile at me,
When u cared enough 2 comfort me...
Somewhere along this reality,
U've loosened up the grip u had on me,
Leaving me to fall,
Leaving me 2 sink,
Leaving me 2 drown again!
Can't u hear me!?! Don't u hear me calling u?!?
R u gonna answer me?!
Tell me what the •••• I'm s'posed 2 do?!
I'm calling!
I'm screaming!
I'm beginning 2 think u've gotten good at ignoring!
I'm calling! I'm screaming!
I'm beginning 2 think it'd be better just 2 say..
Goodbye
R u gonna answer me?! Tell me what the hell I'm s'posed 2 do?!
It's like an echo of laughter is sucking up the air in this place,
I'm calling and I'm calling 4 u! Can't u see the tears running down my face?!
It's like a doubled vision, an icy road collision,
There's no way 2 avoid this condition I'm slipping in,
It's like there's words I have 2 say!
And everybody's disappeared,
It's just the mirror..it's just the mirror and it's just me!!!
Can u hear me?! Can u hear me calling u?!
R u ever gonna answer me?!!
Tell me what the hell I'm s'posed 2 do!!
This echo of ur laughter is sucking the air out of this place,
I'm calling and I'm calling 4 u!!
Can't u see the tears running down my...face?!!!
Peace only reveals itself,
When u'd come 2 me,
When u cared enough 2 smile at me,
When u cared enough 2 comfort me...
Somewhere along this reality,
U've loosened up the grip u had on me,
Leaving me to fall,
Leaving me 2 sink,
Leaving me 2 drown again!
Can't u hear me!?! Don't u hear me calling u?!?
R u gonna answer me?!
Tell me what the •••• I'm s'posed 2 do?!
I'm calling!
I'm screaming!
I'm beginning 2 think u've gotten good at ignoring!
I'm calling! I'm screaming!
I'm beginning 2 think it'd be better just 2 say..
Goodbye
Daddy
From the moment the dr. told us the news,
I was so happy,
I was gonna be a daddy,
Hurried home and told everyone I knew,
I'm gonna be a daddy,
And u,
U are loved,
More than anything on this earth or up above,
U are loved, u are loved,
More than any words could ever say,
U are loved,
Talked to u while u were in the womb,
And when u kicked at me,
Smiled at ur momma,
Cuz u recognized ur daddy,
When they placed u in my arms the first time,
I cried, I cried,
How could God find me worth of this gift,
It was no longer a wish,
I was a daddy,
And u,
U are loved,
More than anything on this great big world or up above,
U, u are loved,
More than any words that I could say,
I just try n show u every day,
That u, u are loved..
Never been a day that I've regretted in this journey,
Never 1 thing I'd go back and change,
So many people go thru life wanting it so badly,
But my wish came true the day I got that news,
I became ur daddy...
And u...u are loved
I was so happy,
I was gonna be a daddy,
Hurried home and told everyone I knew,
I'm gonna be a daddy,
And u,
U are loved,
More than anything on this earth or up above,
U are loved, u are loved,
More than any words could ever say,
U are loved,
Talked to u while u were in the womb,
And when u kicked at me,
Smiled at ur momma,
Cuz u recognized ur daddy,
When they placed u in my arms the first time,
I cried, I cried,
How could God find me worth of this gift,
It was no longer a wish,
I was a daddy,
And u,
U are loved,
More than anything on this great big world or up above,
U, u are loved,
More than any words that I could say,
I just try n show u every day,
That u, u are loved..
Never been a day that I've regretted in this journey,
Never 1 thing I'd go back and change,
So many people go thru life wanting it so badly,
But my wish came true the day I got that news,
I became ur daddy...
And u...u are loved
Then There's Us
There are those who promise forever,
And only make it a few years,
There are those who sometimes stand together
But are divided by their fears,
Then there's us
Then there's us
There are those who have puppy love,
But are gone before it's grown,
There are those play house and,
They never make a home,
Then there's us,
Then there's us,
We have made it thru the roughest storms,
We have survived the raging seas,
I have stood by you,
And u have stood by me,
20 years and going strong,
Sometimes it's hard 2 get along,
There's others run away,
Pack their bags, call it a day,
Then there's us,
Then there's us,
There are those who fall to pieces,
At the very first scare,
There are those who go their separate ways,
When life proves unfair,
Then there's us,
Then there's us,
We have fought this life's fight together,
We have waged our own war,
We may have our own battle scars,
But we've always known,
Love's worth fighting for,
Love's so worth fighting for,
Someday they'll write an article about true love that lasts,
And chronicle the ones who gave up too fast,
They'll give out awards for the longest stayed in love,
There are those who've lasted a long long time,
But then
Then there's us.....
And only make it a few years,
There are those who sometimes stand together
But are divided by their fears,
Then there's us
Then there's us
There are those who have puppy love,
But are gone before it's grown,
There are those play house and,
They never make a home,
Then there's us,
Then there's us,
We have made it thru the roughest storms,
We have survived the raging seas,
I have stood by you,
And u have stood by me,
20 years and going strong,
Sometimes it's hard 2 get along,
There's others run away,
Pack their bags, call it a day,
Then there's us,
Then there's us,
There are those who fall to pieces,
At the very first scare,
There are those who go their separate ways,
When life proves unfair,
Then there's us,
Then there's us,
We have fought this life's fight together,
We have waged our own war,
We may have our own battle scars,
But we've always known,
Love's worth fighting for,
Love's so worth fighting for,
Someday they'll write an article about true love that lasts,
And chronicle the ones who gave up too fast,
They'll give out awards for the longest stayed in love,
There are those who've lasted a long long time,
But then
Then there's us.....
No Sweeter Love
U were put on this earth 2 be my guide,
Showed me ur heart & let me inside,
Couldn't push u away no matter how I tried,
U held me when I cried,
There's no sweeter love
Extended a hand when I was down on my knees,
Lifted me up and pushed me thru bad memories,
When I look 2 the past & the future,
U're all i see,
There's no sweeter love,
Not from mother 2 child,
Not from father 2 son,
Not from heaven 2 earth,
There's no tighter bond,
Not from anyone 2 anything,
I could look all over & find..
No sweeter love
When no one would even glance at me twice,
U kissed my lips and thats when u gave me life,
U took the dark away & brought me 2 the light,
U put a smile back in my face,
And that is why there's
No sweeter love
Not from mother 2 child,
Not from father 2 son,
Not from heaven 2 earth,
There's no tighter bond,
Not from anyone 2 anything,
I could look all over & find..
No sweeter love
Showed me ur heart & let me inside,
Couldn't push u away no matter how I tried,
U held me when I cried,
There's no sweeter love
Extended a hand when I was down on my knees,
Lifted me up and pushed me thru bad memories,
When I look 2 the past & the future,
U're all i see,
There's no sweeter love,
Not from mother 2 child,
Not from father 2 son,
Not from heaven 2 earth,
There's no tighter bond,
Not from anyone 2 anything,
I could look all over & find..
No sweeter love
When no one would even glance at me twice,
U kissed my lips and thats when u gave me life,
U took the dark away & brought me 2 the light,
U put a smile back in my face,
And that is why there's
No sweeter love
Not from mother 2 child,
Not from father 2 son,
Not from heaven 2 earth,
There's no tighter bond,
Not from anyone 2 anything,
I could look all over & find..
No sweeter love
U Love Me
U could make a brighter day,
Chase the blues far away,
Don't have to do anything,
But say those 3 little words u say,
U could turn a smile from a frown,
Stop the tears from comin' down,
Make happiness here and all around,
When those 3 lil words echo from ur mouth,
And I don't know if it happens,
When I say it to u,
But I feel like a king,
When u say,
U love me..
I don't have 2 search no more,
I don't have 2 pray someone'll come thru the door,
I don't have 2 hurt no more,
I don't need a whole lot more,
I got all I need when u're standing here,
And u kiss me & whisper,
In my ear,
And I don't know what it means 2 u,
When I say those 3 words 2 u,
Maybe it don't but I hope it dies the same thing,
It does 2 me,
When u say,
U love me...
U got me mind, heart, body & soul,
Why would I ever let u go,
The most full-filling thing that I know,
Is that
U love me
Chase the blues far away,
Don't have to do anything,
But say those 3 little words u say,
U could turn a smile from a frown,
Stop the tears from comin' down,
Make happiness here and all around,
When those 3 lil words echo from ur mouth,
And I don't know if it happens,
When I say it to u,
But I feel like a king,
When u say,
U love me..
I don't have 2 search no more,
I don't have 2 pray someone'll come thru the door,
I don't have 2 hurt no more,
I don't need a whole lot more,
I got all I need when u're standing here,
And u kiss me & whisper,
In my ear,
And I don't know what it means 2 u,
When I say those 3 words 2 u,
Maybe it don't but I hope it dies the same thing,
It does 2 me,
When u say,
U love me...
U got me mind, heart, body & soul,
Why would I ever let u go,
The most full-filling thing that I know,
Is that
U love me
Making a Memory
've desired 2 be this close 2 u,
4 a long time now,
i've got a few things in mind,
that we could do,
if u would endulge me in a fantasy,
if u would follow my lead,
we can make this a night 2 remember,
either way i know i won't soon forget..
can i pull u close 2 me,
closer than 6 is to 7 girl,
can i for a second,
just feel your breath on my ear,
and ur heart beating next 2 mine,
now take my hand put it into your hand,
see how perfectly it fits,
let me put on ur favorite song,
and whisper the words in ur ear,
sway my body with ur's as we move across the floor,
now let me look u in ur pretty eyes,
and tell u how u've just made my dreams come true,
i've got a couple ideas,
i've been thinking about this so long,
there's never before been a feeling this strong,
there's never before been a moment like this,
never been a night so perfect before this night,
so if u're inclined...i gotta couple things in mind...
the stars are lined up lighting the night like candles,
flickering 2 the tempo of love,
i've desired 2 be this close 2 u,
4 a long time now,
i've got a few things in mind,
that we could do,
if u would endulge me in a fantasy,
if u would follow my lead,
we can make this a night 2 remember,
either way i know i won't soon forget..
it's not about "making love" it's about making a memory..
4 a long time now,
i've got a few things in mind,
that we could do,
if u would endulge me in a fantasy,
if u would follow my lead,
we can make this a night 2 remember,
either way i know i won't soon forget..
can i pull u close 2 me,
closer than 6 is to 7 girl,
can i for a second,
just feel your breath on my ear,
and ur heart beating next 2 mine,
now take my hand put it into your hand,
see how perfectly it fits,
let me put on ur favorite song,
and whisper the words in ur ear,
sway my body with ur's as we move across the floor,
now let me look u in ur pretty eyes,
and tell u how u've just made my dreams come true,
i've got a couple ideas,
i've been thinking about this so long,
there's never before been a feeling this strong,
there's never before been a moment like this,
never been a night so perfect before this night,
so if u're inclined...i gotta couple things in mind...
the stars are lined up lighting the night like candles,
flickering 2 the tempo of love,
i've desired 2 be this close 2 u,
4 a long time now,
i've got a few things in mind,
that we could do,
if u would endulge me in a fantasy,
if u would follow my lead,
we can make this a night 2 remember,
either way i know i won't soon forget..
it's not about "making love" it's about making a memory..
momma
momma,
u built a cross 4 me,
when i was far 2 young 2 bear,
momma,
when i needed u the most,
u weren't there,
still i called out 4 u,
momma,
windows and doors were double locked,
my eyes were blackened,
i was torn & bruised,
used until i was crucified,
momma,
i cried tears until they wouldn't fall,
screamed until no voice at all,
banged my fists against the bedroom wall,
until they bled.. until they wouldn't clench,
momma,
closet doors were forceful closed,
food was scarce, my bloody nose,
found it hard 2 breathe,
i couldn't leave,
and i begged 4 u 2,
come,
take me far away,
protect me like a mother's supposed 2,
safe,
i never was,
all alone,
pain was all i owned,
and tho i knew,
it wouldn't come true,
i wished 4 u,
momma,
told u that day,
u denied my claim,
u brought back that rain,
such a shame,
hurting when the blame is on u,
momma,
and the nightmares won't leave,
i'm right back in that place,
but u weren't there...
nobody was there,
but amanda and me,
with that evil...
momma,
why'd u build a cross 4 me?
when i was far 2 young 2 bear?
why weren't u there,
when i needed u...
momma
u built a cross 4 me,
when i was far 2 young 2 bear,
momma,
when i needed u the most,
u weren't there,
still i called out 4 u,
momma,
windows and doors were double locked,
my eyes were blackened,
i was torn & bruised,
used until i was crucified,
momma,
i cried tears until they wouldn't fall,
screamed until no voice at all,
banged my fists against the bedroom wall,
until they bled.. until they wouldn't clench,
momma,
closet doors were forceful closed,
food was scarce, my bloody nose,
found it hard 2 breathe,
i couldn't leave,
and i begged 4 u 2,
come,
take me far away,
protect me like a mother's supposed 2,
safe,
i never was,
all alone,
pain was all i owned,
and tho i knew,
it wouldn't come true,
i wished 4 u,
momma,
told u that day,
u denied my claim,
u brought back that rain,
such a shame,
hurting when the blame is on u,
momma,
and the nightmares won't leave,
i'm right back in that place,
but u weren't there...
nobody was there,
but amanda and me,
with that evil...
momma,
why'd u build a cross 4 me?
when i was far 2 young 2 bear?
why weren't u there,
when i needed u...
momma
Know U
Show me the colors,
Teach me the language of ur soul,
Take me 2 the deepest parts,
That's where I wanna start,
Help me find the key,
That unlocks the door 2 ur, precious heart,
And while we're there,
Baby girl u can share,
Everything that's ever been on ur mind...
I don't just wanna love u,
I don't just wanna hold u,
Don't wanna be there 4 u 4 1 night,
I wanna know u,
Really really wanna know u,
Like no one else knows u,
And I hope it takes the rest of my life..
All of ur secrets are safe with me,
I'll Lock em up tight, call me ur diary,
Anything u've ever seen,
When u drift off 2 dream,
Tell me what it is,
What a man's gotta do 2 make u smile,
Cuz I wanna go the extra mile,
Hold my hand, it's a perfect fit,
Let's walk, let's dance!!
I don't just wanna love u,
I don't just wanna hold u,
Don't wanna be here 4 u 4 1 night,
I wanna know u,
Really really wanna know u,
And I hope it takes the rest of my life..
For u 2,
Teach me everything that makes u..u
Teach me the language of ur soul,
Take me 2 the deepest parts,
That's where I wanna start,
Help me find the key,
That unlocks the door 2 ur, precious heart,
And while we're there,
Baby girl u can share,
Everything that's ever been on ur mind...
I don't just wanna love u,
I don't just wanna hold u,
Don't wanna be there 4 u 4 1 night,
I wanna know u,
Really really wanna know u,
Like no one else knows u,
And I hope it takes the rest of my life..
All of ur secrets are safe with me,
I'll Lock em up tight, call me ur diary,
Anything u've ever seen,
When u drift off 2 dream,
Tell me what it is,
What a man's gotta do 2 make u smile,
Cuz I wanna go the extra mile,
Hold my hand, it's a perfect fit,
Let's walk, let's dance!!
I don't just wanna love u,
I don't just wanna hold u,
Don't wanna be here 4 u 4 1 night,
I wanna know u,
Really really wanna know u,
And I hope it takes the rest of my life..
For u 2,
Teach me everything that makes u..u
Ur Name
Angels sing no sweeter word,
Brought love in2 his heart,
When Jesus heard,
He breathed it in2 ur mother's ear,
And it became...ur name
Mountains would crumble,
The seas would part,
Nothing has or will ever be the same,
Since HE breathed in2 ur mother's ear,
Ur name
Felt like a memory first time it echoed from my lips,
The perfect mixture chemistry,
Like I was made 4 u and u 4 me,
I never new happiness could be just a word away,
When ure standing before me,
And allow me 2 say ur name
Angels have sang no sweeter word,
Brought love in2 his heart,
First time Jesus heard,
So he breathed it in2 ur mother's ear,
Then u appeared and nothing has, or will ever be the same,
Brings a smile 2 my heart,
Each time I get 2 say ur name
Brought love in2 his heart,
When Jesus heard,
He breathed it in2 ur mother's ear,
And it became...ur name
Mountains would crumble,
The seas would part,
Nothing has or will ever be the same,
Since HE breathed in2 ur mother's ear,
Ur name
Felt like a memory first time it echoed from my lips,
The perfect mixture chemistry,
Like I was made 4 u and u 4 me,
I never new happiness could be just a word away,
When ure standing before me,
And allow me 2 say ur name
Angels have sang no sweeter word,
Brought love in2 his heart,
First time Jesus heard,
So he breathed it in2 ur mother's ear,
Then u appeared and nothing has, or will ever be the same,
Brings a smile 2 my heart,
Each time I get 2 say ur name
Moments
they say there are moments,
When ur life will be defined,
Moments that change u,
That will last 4 a lifetime,
............and u are mine
Don't know if u found me,
Or was it I that found u,
But since u've been around me,
My whole life has been renewed,
U r my moment,
U r my place,
Right in the center of ur heart,
Is my space,
U r my reason,
U r my treasure,
That event in my life,
That's sure 2 last 4ever...
I have wondered,
What "HAPPY" would be like,
Now I feel it and I want it 4 all time,
Cuz u r mine,
Don't ever wanna lose u,
Don't wanna ever hear a "goodbye"
I wanna spend the rest of my life,
With my reflection in ur eyes...
U r my moment,
U r my place,
Right in the center of ur heart,
Is my space,
U r my reason,
U r my treasure,
That EVENT in my life,
That's sure 2 last..4EVER..
They say there are moments,
When ur life will be defined..
Moments that will change u,
That will last 4 a lifetime,
And u r mine
When ur life will be defined,
Moments that change u,
That will last 4 a lifetime,
............and u are mine
Don't know if u found me,
Or was it I that found u,
But since u've been around me,
My whole life has been renewed,
U r my moment,
U r my place,
Right in the center of ur heart,
Is my space,
U r my reason,
U r my treasure,
That event in my life,
That's sure 2 last 4ever...
I have wondered,
What "HAPPY" would be like,
Now I feel it and I want it 4 all time,
Cuz u r mine,
Don't ever wanna lose u,
Don't wanna ever hear a "goodbye"
I wanna spend the rest of my life,
With my reflection in ur eyes...
U r my moment,
U r my place,
Right in the center of ur heart,
Is my space,
U r my reason,
U r my treasure,
That EVENT in my life,
That's sure 2 last..4EVER..
They say there are moments,
When ur life will be defined..
Moments that will change u,
That will last 4 a lifetime,
And u r mine
4bidden
4bidden 2 c u,
Not supposed 2 be with u,
But my thoughts won't do,
What they're supposed 2 do,
So every night I'm longing,
Shouldn't think of u this way,
Think of what the others would say,
If they knew that I was smitten,
"oh no u can't do that...it's 4bidden"
I've got 2 be dreamin'
That u're layin by my side,
The love we make is sinful,
But I wake up Aline again 2nite,
Ur touch has got my interests peaking,
I want u - that's my heart speaking,
I wish that it was right,
But it isn't,
It's 4bidden,
I cannot and will not apologize,
In my mind I try & strategize,
My morals I would compromise,
2 see my reflection in ur eyes,
Hear u whisper my name,
Play this game,
Feel no shame and take all the blame,
Cuz it's ...4.......bidden....
Not supposed 2 be with u,
But my thoughts won't do,
What they're supposed 2 do,
So every night I'm longing,
Shouldn't think of u this way,
Think of what the others would say,
If they knew that I was smitten,
"oh no u can't do that...it's 4bidden"
I've got 2 be dreamin'
That u're layin by my side,
The love we make is sinful,
But I wake up Aline again 2nite,
Ur touch has got my interests peaking,
I want u - that's my heart speaking,
I wish that it was right,
But it isn't,
It's 4bidden,
I cannot and will not apologize,
In my mind I try & strategize,
My morals I would compromise,
2 see my reflection in ur eyes,
Hear u whisper my name,
Play this game,
Feel no shame and take all the blame,
Cuz it's ...4.......bidden....
Sunday, March 11, 2012
From That Day On
i feel ur hand in my hand,
u lookin' at me lookin' at u,
ring from the best man,
placed eloquently on ur left hand,
promise 2 be the best husband and best friend,
from that day on......
from that day on, we'll grow 2 be,
not just 1 boy 1 girl but a family,
and 2gether in love we'll see,
all those things we've only ever dreamed,
no one will stop us, this feeling will never be gone,
promise 2 be, everything u'll ever need,
from that day on.....
u gave me ur heart,
and now our last name's the same,
love 2 watch u signing it on things,
love 2 hear u say it everyday,
guess it really was how it was supposed 2 be,
and sometimes i'll say i love u just 2 hear u say it back,
cuz when those words echo off of ur lips,
it reminds me and puts me back....
i feel ur hand in my hand,
u lookin' at me lookin' at u,
ring from the best man,
placed eloquently on ur left hand,
promise 2 be the best husband and best friend,
from that day on......
80 years from now if i'm asked just how we made it thru,
i'll smile and i'll say it's all because of u,
from that day on, we grew 2 be,
not just 1 boy 1 girl but a family,
and 2gether in love we made sure 2 see,
all those things we've only ever dreamed,
no one ever stop us, this feeling was never gone,
I hope i've been, everything u've ever needed,
from that day on.....
yeah, sometimes i say i love u just 2 hear u say it back
u lookin' at me lookin' at u,
ring from the best man,
placed eloquently on ur left hand,
promise 2 be the best husband and best friend,
from that day on......
from that day on, we'll grow 2 be,
not just 1 boy 1 girl but a family,
and 2gether in love we'll see,
all those things we've only ever dreamed,
no one will stop us, this feeling will never be gone,
promise 2 be, everything u'll ever need,
from that day on.....
u gave me ur heart,
and now our last name's the same,
love 2 watch u signing it on things,
love 2 hear u say it everyday,
guess it really was how it was supposed 2 be,
and sometimes i'll say i love u just 2 hear u say it back,
cuz when those words echo off of ur lips,
it reminds me and puts me back....
i feel ur hand in my hand,
u lookin' at me lookin' at u,
ring from the best man,
placed eloquently on ur left hand,
promise 2 be the best husband and best friend,
from that day on......
80 years from now if i'm asked just how we made it thru,
i'll smile and i'll say it's all because of u,
from that day on, we grew 2 be,
not just 1 boy 1 girl but a family,
and 2gether in love we made sure 2 see,
all those things we've only ever dreamed,
no one ever stop us, this feeling was never gone,
I hope i've been, everything u've ever needed,
from that day on.....
yeah, sometimes i say i love u just 2 hear u say it back
In Ur Eyes
Truth is,
There was never any other for all time
There was so much more 2 u than just 1 night,
If the truth be told,
U must've been created 2 save me,
Perfect in every way 2 take me,
Out if the darkness and in2 the light,
And there's no way,
That I would ever wanna try n make it thru,
1 second of a minute of an hour of this life without u,
In the midst,
Of the lies,
There is 1 place that I know I can find,
All I need 2 believe in,
Is in ur eyes...in ur eyes...
U can alter any mood,
With ur smile,
No matter, how deep & dark the places I get 2,
Ur love always leads me back,
Right here 2 u,
And for all,
The riches that this world could afford,
I wouldn't leave u,
Cuz I need u more and more and more..
In the midst,
Of the lies,
There's 1 place that I know that I can find,
All I need, 2 believe in,
Is in ur eyes...it's in ur eyes,
Lookin in 2 mine,
Sayin that u love,
Sayin that u want me by ur side,
4 the rest of our lives,
Truth is,
There was never any other 4 all time,
There was so much more 2 u than just 1 night,
All I need to believe in
Is in ur eyes
There was never any other for all time
There was so much more 2 u than just 1 night,
If the truth be told,
U must've been created 2 save me,
Perfect in every way 2 take me,
Out if the darkness and in2 the light,
And there's no way,
That I would ever wanna try n make it thru,
1 second of a minute of an hour of this life without u,
In the midst,
Of the lies,
There is 1 place that I know I can find,
All I need 2 believe in,
Is in ur eyes...in ur eyes...
U can alter any mood,
With ur smile,
No matter, how deep & dark the places I get 2,
Ur love always leads me back,
Right here 2 u,
And for all,
The riches that this world could afford,
I wouldn't leave u,
Cuz I need u more and more and more..
In the midst,
Of the lies,
There's 1 place that I know that I can find,
All I need, 2 believe in,
Is in ur eyes...it's in ur eyes,
Lookin in 2 mine,
Sayin that u love,
Sayin that u want me by ur side,
4 the rest of our lives,
Truth is,
There was never any other 4 all time,
There was so much more 2 u than just 1 night,
All I need to believe in
Is in ur eyes
How Much is 2 Much
How much is 2 much 2 take,
They told me that a man should never break,
How long is 2 long 2 grieve,
The death of the 10 year old me,
Try 2 keep it outta my mind,
Try 2 dream about something else at night,
Trouble is, it puts up just as strong a fight,
As I do...
How do u just "move on",
How do u "let it go",
Things that I've been thru,
U wouldn't last a day in my shoes,
I didn't ask 4 this cross 2 bear,
I didn't wanna be "that guy"
Came in2 this world so unprepared,
2 live this kinda life,
And that's why I ask,
How much is 2 much 2 take,
Cuz they told me a man is not supposed 2 break,
And how long is 2 long to grieve,
The death if the 10 year old me?
I've refused this river of tears that beg 2 fall,
I've tried 2 convince myself that it really didn't happen at all,
I've tried 2 be strong, but it's defeating me,
The memories and nightmares, will not let me be,
How much is 2 much 2 take..
They told me a man is not supposed 2 break..
How long is 2 long 2 grieve...
The death of the 10 year old me....
Why can't u understand,
I'm doing the best that I can,
But it just won't go away,
It won't let me go,
Why do u find it in ur heart 2 judge me?
Is it really that hard 2 love the ugly 1.....
How much is 2 much?
They told me that a man should never break,
How long is 2 long 2 grieve,
The death of the 10 year old me,
Try 2 keep it outta my mind,
Try 2 dream about something else at night,
Trouble is, it puts up just as strong a fight,
As I do...
How do u just "move on",
How do u "let it go",
Things that I've been thru,
U wouldn't last a day in my shoes,
I didn't ask 4 this cross 2 bear,
I didn't wanna be "that guy"
Came in2 this world so unprepared,
2 live this kinda life,
And that's why I ask,
How much is 2 much 2 take,
Cuz they told me a man is not supposed 2 break,
And how long is 2 long to grieve,
The death if the 10 year old me?
I've refused this river of tears that beg 2 fall,
I've tried 2 convince myself that it really didn't happen at all,
I've tried 2 be strong, but it's defeating me,
The memories and nightmares, will not let me be,
How much is 2 much 2 take..
They told me a man is not supposed 2 break..
How long is 2 long 2 grieve...
The death of the 10 year old me....
Why can't u understand,
I'm doing the best that I can,
But it just won't go away,
It won't let me go,
Why do u find it in ur heart 2 judge me?
Is it really that hard 2 love the ugly 1.....
How much is 2 much?
Stone
She's just 15 with a baby,
And u call her names,
Guess u didn't know her uncle's to blame,
Far to quick to judge and,
From ur stance u won't dare to budge,
When will enough be enough?
Leave her alone,
Let he who's without sin,
Cast the first stone,
U wouldn't want that for ur own,
Leave her alone,
'lest u be judged first,
Put down ur stone...
He lives in a cardboard box on east 25th,
Beggin' for food is how he's forced 2 live,
U call him lazy, "bum why u hanging round here 4?"
Bet u didn't know, just 10 y short years ago,
He was serving our country in a war,
Leave him alone,
Let he who is without sin,
Cast the very first stone,
What if she was one of ur own?
Leave him alone,
'lest u be judged first,
Put down the stone,
Have our hearts hardened so hard we can't see,
That person that we're judging is just like u and me,
We don't know the story before we speak,
Have u ever stopped and asked itself how can u be so mean?
Leave em alone,
Let he who is without sin,
Cast the first and only stone,
What if they were one of ur own?
If u ain't got something nice to say,
Don't say anything at all,
And leave em alone...
Put down the stones....
Your new born baby girl has a thyroid disease,
Grows up goes to school, she's morbidly obese,
They call her pig and they call her fat,
And u can't dry her tears...u can't make her understand,
Do remember back a couple years,
How u treated that girl with a baby and that homeless man?!
U wish they'd leave her alone,
U say he who is without sin can cast the first stone,
Now that it's happening to one of ur own,
U're yelling "put down the stone!"
Leave her alone....
Just 15 with a baby..and u call her names...
Leave her alone....
And u call her names,
Guess u didn't know her uncle's to blame,
Far to quick to judge and,
From ur stance u won't dare to budge,
When will enough be enough?
Leave her alone,
Let he who's without sin,
Cast the first stone,
U wouldn't want that for ur own,
Leave her alone,
'lest u be judged first,
Put down ur stone...
He lives in a cardboard box on east 25th,
Beggin' for food is how he's forced 2 live,
U call him lazy, "bum why u hanging round here 4?"
Bet u didn't know, just 10 y short years ago,
He was serving our country in a war,
Leave him alone,
Let he who is without sin,
Cast the very first stone,
What if she was one of ur own?
Leave him alone,
'lest u be judged first,
Put down the stone,
Have our hearts hardened so hard we can't see,
That person that we're judging is just like u and me,
We don't know the story before we speak,
Have u ever stopped and asked itself how can u be so mean?
Leave em alone,
Let he who is without sin,
Cast the first and only stone,
What if they were one of ur own?
If u ain't got something nice to say,
Don't say anything at all,
And leave em alone...
Put down the stones....
Your new born baby girl has a thyroid disease,
Grows up goes to school, she's morbidly obese,
They call her pig and they call her fat,
And u can't dry her tears...u can't make her understand,
Do remember back a couple years,
How u treated that girl with a baby and that homeless man?!
U wish they'd leave her alone,
U say he who is without sin can cast the first stone,
Now that it's happening to one of ur own,
U're yelling "put down the stone!"
Leave her alone....
Just 15 with a baby..and u call her names...
Leave her alone....
agree 2 disagree
oh no not again,
another knock down/drag down,nobody wins,
just another round of dejavu, where u hate me, and i hate u,
when i'm wrong,
and u're right,
why does it have 2 end up in a fight,
we both know that 2morrow we'll be good again,
unless, i'm not talkin' and u ain't talkin',
clothes ain't packed, nobody's walkin'
why can't we just agree.. to disagree,
seems like when we ain't makin' love,
we're makin' war,
but what's it really all for,
does it matter who wins,
cuz who really wins,
when i feel or u feel,
that this thing between us aint' really real,
do u really want to leave?
do u want me 2 go,
i just have 2 know;
when u're wrong,
when i'm right,
why does it have to end up in a fight,
we both know by 2morrow we'll be good again,
unless u ain't talkin' and i ain't talkin'
clothes ain't packed so nobody's walkin'
why can't we just agree 2 disagree,
i'll go head and let u call me names,
i'll go head and take all the blame,
although i don't even know;
what the hell i did,
but if it makes u feel better,
put it all on me,
just get it over with and get back 2 bein' how we're suposed 2 be,
cuz it don't really matter,
if i'm wrong and if u're right,
2night it ain't gonna be a fight,
we'll go 2 bed 2night bein' good again,
i'll listen if u wanna keep talkin',
no threats, nobody's walkin'
2night i'll agree 2 disagree...
oh no,
not again,
another knockdown/drag down/
no body wins...
another knock down/drag down,nobody wins,
just another round of dejavu, where u hate me, and i hate u,
when i'm wrong,
and u're right,
why does it have 2 end up in a fight,
we both know that 2morrow we'll be good again,
unless, i'm not talkin' and u ain't talkin',
clothes ain't packed, nobody's walkin'
why can't we just agree.. to disagree,
seems like when we ain't makin' love,
we're makin' war,
but what's it really all for,
does it matter who wins,
cuz who really wins,
when i feel or u feel,
that this thing between us aint' really real,
do u really want to leave?
do u want me 2 go,
i just have 2 know;
when u're wrong,
when i'm right,
why does it have to end up in a fight,
we both know by 2morrow we'll be good again,
unless u ain't talkin' and i ain't talkin'
clothes ain't packed so nobody's walkin'
why can't we just agree 2 disagree,
i'll go head and let u call me names,
i'll go head and take all the blame,
although i don't even know;
what the hell i did,
but if it makes u feel better,
put it all on me,
just get it over with and get back 2 bein' how we're suposed 2 be,
cuz it don't really matter,
if i'm wrong and if u're right,
2night it ain't gonna be a fight,
we'll go 2 bed 2night bein' good again,
i'll listen if u wanna keep talkin',
no threats, nobody's walkin'
2night i'll agree 2 disagree...
oh no,
not again,
another knockdown/drag down/
no body wins...
Beautiful
U took a heart that was broken,
A soul that didn't believe,
A blind pair of eyes,
And a mind that couldn't see,
U gave..
I took..
U made love beautiful...
U touched what had been bruised,
And made it whole again,
Kissed what had been broken,
Put it back together & made it better,
U made what once was numb,
Feel an unexpected feel,
Took away all the fake,
Showed what's really real,
And u made love..Beautiful..
Never would have believed,
Till u made me believe in u,
Never knew all the things,
That just 1 smile could do,
U made what was ugly,
What was damaged from overuse,
Become something so magnificent,
And every day brand new,
Cuz u made love...
Beautiful
A soul that didn't believe,
A blind pair of eyes,
And a mind that couldn't see,
U gave..
I took..
U made love beautiful...
U touched what had been bruised,
And made it whole again,
Kissed what had been broken,
Put it back together & made it better,
U made what once was numb,
Feel an unexpected feel,
Took away all the fake,
Showed what's really real,
And u made love..Beautiful..
Never would have believed,
Till u made me believe in u,
Never knew all the things,
That just 1 smile could do,
U made what was ugly,
What was damaged from overuse,
Become something so magnificent,
And every day brand new,
Cuz u made love...
Beautiful
No Reason
Whoever said "a kiss is just a kiss"
Has never felt anything like this,
Just looking in ur eyes can take me there,
Holdin' ur hand in mine,
Hearin' u say my name,
Gets me every time,
Makes my heart & my blood start rushin'
I don't know what I'd do,
If I didn't have u,
It would make no sense 2 me,
Why else do I breathe,
But because u're lovin' me,
To not be in ur life,
There would be no reason 4 mine,
Waking up next 2 u,
Seein ur pretty eyes lookin my way,
Puts my soul at ease,
Makes me feel relieved,
Knowing it's gonna be another great day,
And just reading ur texts,
Can't help but wonder what is next,
What can we do to top this,
Nobody could ever stop this!!!
I don't k ow what I'd do,
If I didn't have u,
It would make no damn sense to me,
Why else do I breathe,
But because u're lovin me,
If I wasn't in ur life,
There would be no reason for mine,
Whoever said "a kiss is just a kiss"
Never felt like this,
Just looking in ur eyes can take me there....
Has never felt anything like this,
Just looking in ur eyes can take me there,
Holdin' ur hand in mine,
Hearin' u say my name,
Gets me every time,
Makes my heart & my blood start rushin'
I don't know what I'd do,
If I didn't have u,
It would make no sense 2 me,
Why else do I breathe,
But because u're lovin' me,
To not be in ur life,
There would be no reason 4 mine,
Waking up next 2 u,
Seein ur pretty eyes lookin my way,
Puts my soul at ease,
Makes me feel relieved,
Knowing it's gonna be another great day,
And just reading ur texts,
Can't help but wonder what is next,
What can we do to top this,
Nobody could ever stop this!!!
I don't k ow what I'd do,
If I didn't have u,
It would make no damn sense to me,
Why else do I breathe,
But because u're lovin me,
If I wasn't in ur life,
There would be no reason for mine,
Whoever said "a kiss is just a kiss"
Never felt like this,
Just looking in ur eyes can take me there....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)