What they didn't know is that dying would have been a welcomed escape from the house of horrors I was living in. I woke up this morning feeling like I was back in that closet and had to glance around my room and check myself back into reality. For those of you who do not know a horrible terrifying and abusive childhood, I am jealous. For those of you who can relate... Check out "fear" by Blue October. It will help remove some of the poison that the memories leave behind.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
I haven't reflected or really dwelled on anything from my childhood horror till last night. A dream/memory of a time when I had been locked in a closet for a few days, and only able to eat crumbs and drink stale water(yes, there is a such thing..eww). Johnny opened the closet door and admonished me for the filth, and then gave me a glass of the nastiest lemonade ever. I was SO thirsty that it was gone in an instant. The second I handed him the glass back, he laughed and told Pat "I told you he'd drink it, hahaha!" Pat replied something to the idea that "did u tell him it was poison and he will be dead this time tomorrow?" Johnny laughed and closed the closet door and locked it. I could hear them talking all evening about my "impending demise" and I was so frightened that it was true and I was going to die. I worked myself into such a fever that I was sick and puking all over and I actually felt like I was going to die. I didn't, and a couple more days later when the door was open again, Johnny only said "scared ya, didn't i?" as he and Pat laughed and laughed.