It was great being with Dad again;
I had thought that we weren’t ever going to be a family again. We talked almost non-stop on the ride home,
about what we had both been through and how we missed each other and how we
were happy to be back together again. I
never told him about the abuse. I felt his being in jail for almost a year for
something that he didn’t do, was punishment enough. We arrived in Arkansas and our home was a
mobile home back in Harrison. Once at
the trailer, I was introduced to Debbie.
Debbie had been my mom’s cellmate and she and Dad had exchanged letters
and it went from there. Debbie was Dad’s friend, or so he put it. I found out quickly she was more than a
friend, as she thought she was going to replace my mom. From the start, she assumed that I would just
call her mom. Nope. They say when you assume, you make an ass out of you and
me, and that is exactly what she was doing.
I had one mom and she was certainly not it. Even though my mom did wrong, I still cared
about her, and Debbie wasn’t going to move in on her turf. Debbie once even got mad at my Dad for not
making me call her mom. She stormed out and walked across town to her ex sister
in law’s house to pout. That’s when I
met Jodi Turnbull and Billie Jo Turnbull.
Jodi was a large woman, but very cool. She instantly made the impression
that she was someone who was safe and who was a friend. Once I got to know her a little better I
spent a lot of time at her house. Jodi
had a daughter named Billie Jo. Billie
Jo was a girl, and I was almost 11, and I knew all about girls. I did my best to get her attention, but to no
avail. Billie was infatuated with a
celebrity named Ricky Nelson. Ricky Nelson
was dead and was a teen idol from the 50’s and 60’s. Rick Nelson wasn’t coming back from the dead
any time soon, but that didn’t stop Billie from thinking he was the “stuff”.
Dad
was good friends with Jodi’s husband Steve; so many weekends were spent at
their house, playing cards, having barbecues and just loafing around. I spent my time trying to be cute and funny
to get Billie’s attention, but for the longest time, she would have none of it. Billie thought I was cute, but that was as
far as it would go for a while, anyway. I am very persistent, and once I put my
mind on something, I have a way of getting what I want. Eventually we became boyfriend and
girlfriend, although I had a different meaning of what those words meant than
she did. One Saturday we went to the
skating rink where I used to skate, and we were having a great time until the
couple skate. Billie broke my heart that night, because she wouldn’t skate with
me. I cried over that ordeal and everyone
gave Billie a good ribbing for it. We
stayed boyfriend and girlfriend though, for a long time. We never kissed; we never did anything more
than hold hands, but it was comforting to have someone care about you, especially
when I had been through all the abuse.
Billie was a great friend, and though we never talked about the abuse,
she was always there.
Dad
and Debbie had a couple of friends, Dot and Jerry. Dot was short for Dorothy and Jerry was short
for, Jerry. Dot and Jerry loved to have
steak for almost every meal, and it was great to be over there because they
would always make a big meal and treat you like an adult without taking
advantage of you. Dot had an old
newspaper article that had said that Dad, Debbie, Amanda and me were in a car accident
and Amanda was the only survivor. It was
a trip to read about your own demise in a newspaper. The paper was wrong, however, because I had
died the first time that the Pastor touched me, was reborn when Pat and Johnny
picked me up, and then died all over again the first time that they did it to
me.
Dad
had been persistent as well, he was trying to keep the peace at home, so he
finally got me to call Debbie mom. It wasn’t a way of me giving in to her; it
was me doing what my Dad wanted me to do for him. Debbie also had four, that’s right, four
other kids. Those kids were in Iowa with Debbie’s mom and dad. It seems that while Debbie was married, she
and her husband rented a bunch of movies from a video store and didn’t return
them, so they were arrested for stealing, and Debbie’s mom and dad took the
kids to live with them in Mt. Ayr, Iowa.
Mt. Ayr, Iowa was devoid of anything. If you were going to get away from
it all, every bit of it, go to Mt. Ayr, Iowa, because, “it” wasn’t even going
in that direction. In fact, Mt. Ayr, Iowa had only two things, day and night.J
I
was introduced to the idea of her having kids by her and Dad talking about us
hopping in the car and going to Iowa to see them. Seeing them was good
for me, but when we got there it was a whole different ball game. Debbie’s kids
were all aged between Amanda and mine.
Pete was 2, Kristy was 4, Jason was 8 and Jennifer was 11. At first,
everyone got along great. It was kind of
cool having other people around. The
whole brother and sister thing was good, but very territorial. Amanda and I were still outcasts, and now
outnumbered. Whenever Debbie’s kids did
something wrong, they would blame us and Debbie would go nuts. Dad always worked long hours and wasn’t home
a whole lot, so Debbie was in charge.
Jennifer would always get to do whatever she wanted, and I would have to
tow the line. Jason was a crybaby who
would always blame me when he got hurt or couldn’t do something. Kristy and Pete would always get into
mischief and Amanda would always get the spanking for it. Debbie’s kids were from different fathers,
except for Pete and Kristy. Jennifer’s
dad was a trucker so he didn’t get to see her as much as she would have
liked. Jason’s dad was about as
worthless as a man could be. He denied
Jason from the start, and when we would see him in town and Jason would try and
talk to him, he would walk away. Pete
and Kristy’s dad was, for lack of a better word, ignorant. He would come around and spend time with them
and always try and get Debbie to get back together with him. I would be on his side, because if they got
back together, Dad, Amanda and me could go back to Arkansas and be a
family. Debbie’s mom and dad were old,
and set in their ways. They would talk
great about Dad and his kids to everyone when we were around, but when they
didn’t think we were close enough to hear, they would belittle us. Dad was always good enough to go fishing and
help fix things, but that was about it.
Debbie
began physically abusing me around this time.
She knew that tickling me was out of the question. Tickling, for me was
pure torture. After a couple seconds of tickling, I would lose control of my
bladder and I would pee on myself. Pat
and Johnny used tickling as a show for their friends. I would get brought out
for all to see, and then tickled until I peed all over. Debbie found out that I peed when tickled,
and when she would have a reason to punish me, tickling became her favorite
form. When she wasn’t tickle torturing
me, she would hit me with a closed fist, or slaps to the face. Debbie wouldn’t need a reason, just anything
to set her off, would get taken out on me.
Debbie’s daughter,
Jennifer was very promiscuous. Jennifer would get with anyone who would give
her attention and do whatever they wanted her to do. Several boys from my grade and hers would
want to be her boyfriend only because they knew what they could get from
her. Jennifer was jealous of me because
I had my dad around all the time, so she would trade sexual favors to boys to
get them to fight me. Debbie would
encourage Jennifer to do this. Debbie
wanted my Dad all to herself. Debbie
would have been content if Dad had never picked Amanda and me up. There were days upon days when I would have
to run home from school because three or four boys would want to beat me
up. I could run very fast, so it almost
always never happened. Jennifer didn’t
like the fact that Billie Jo and I were boyfriend and girlfriend, so she wrote
Billie a letter and told her that I had said some horrible things about
her. Billie, of course, believed
Jennifer and that was the end of that.
Most days when I came home from school there was one reason or another
for a beating. A beating would consist of closed fists to the face, kicking
about the body. There would really have to be no solid reason for a beating,
other than just the fact that she wanted to do it. There were several times when I tried to kill
myself. I had a “survival” knife, which
was a knife with a huge blade. The time
that I had all the guts to do it, my Dad walked in and caught me, and stopped
me. I had several nightmares about my
mom as well. I would dream that she would pull up to my school to pick me up,
and when I got to the car, she would tell me to go away, that she hated me. I would wake up balling my eyes out.
Dot and Jerry had
moved to Iowa to be around us. At first
they stayed with us, and then they moved way out into the country. I stayed the night at their house quite a bit
and I wished, sometimes, that they would have just ran off with me. I think about them often and wonder where
they are now, and if they ever had any kids of their own, or even if they live
in Iowa anymore. I can’t locate them,
though because I don’t remember their last name. Debbie was really jealous of Dot and Jerry,
mainly because Jerry would hang out with Dad.
Debbie never wanted Dad to have anyone but her. She would find fault in everyone he would be
a friend with.
Creston,
Iowa had an auction every Monday and Dad and Debbie always went. During the auction, we would find other kids
and hang out and play. It was on our way
home that I actually wrote my first song, Old Fashioned Love. The song was very stupid and not at all
together.. “Did you hear the story of the 2 lovers, who dedicated their live to
each other, but then one day something separated the 2, and baby I sure hope
that doesn’t happen to me and u, because, I love u more than anything, I’ll
give u the old fashioned love, with the old fashioned love u have got 2 care,
cause if u don’t u’ll be livin’ out in the cold air”. I don’t remember the
second verse or much else from the song, but you get the idea. After that, I
began writing a lot. Most of the songs I
composed were in my head. One “stand out” was “Rubber Cement”. “I said what I
meant, have u ever been stuck by rubber cement.” Not very good, but very
creative. J
Mt.
Ayr Elementary had a very cool music teacher by the name of Mrs. Greene. Mrs. Greene would write down the top 20 songs
on the charts, and she would let us sing very hip songs. Our big project every year was to do a music
video. We would pick out one of the top
20 songs and learn it, and lip-synch the song while she filmed. The first year
I “played” drums on “Hip to be Square” by Hewy Lewis and the News. The second year, I got to “sing” lead to “La
Bamba”. It was cool, because I learned
every word and ad lib to the song, so I sang it perfectly. The video wasn’t all that “produced” but
everyone liked it because I had all of the song down pat. I also got into band during this time. I played the drums. Ok, I played the snare
drum. Playing in the band was great
because of my love for music, but I had one problem; I couldn’t read
music. No matter how hard the teacher would
try to teach my, I just couldn’t get it.
I could play what he wanted me to play, but I couldn’t make heads or
tails of the sheet music.
I even tried out
for the wrestling team, but because of a bully on the team, I quit. I went to practice and he punched me a few
times. This was because the girl that
liked me was the girl that he liked and she didn’t like him. Petty as it was, I went home and said,
“Forget it.”
I
started going to a local church in Mt. Ayr. It was a Pentecostal church and had
a great kids program called the Royal Rangers.
Being a member of the Royal Rangers was cool because you could earn pins
and ranking over the other kids. It was
sort of like Boy Scouts, but more religious.
The leader of the
Royal Rangers and his boys were really cool.
They loved to have me around. We
would hang out a lot, and after a while, the Royal Rangers had a camp out. The camp out wasn’t at a campground, though,
it was at a church members house. The
house was way out in the country and we set up tents in the front yard. Since I didn’t have my own tent, I had to
share. During the night, our leader
wakened me and he asked me to come out of the tent for a second. I shouldn’t have left the tent. I should’ve
stayed asleep, or pretended to be.
Stupid me, I got out of the tent, and went to see what he wanted. The past should’ve been a reminder of what
men want when they ask a kid out late into the night. It started off with him showing me a dirty
magazine. I was a boy, so that was cool. Then he started talking to me about
masturbating. He said everyone did it,
and asked if I did. I said “NO WAY!” and
he just laughed. He told me that I
could, and it wouldn’t be wrong. I was
put off by this, and asked if I could just go back to my tent. He said that I could once I watched him. I hadn’t paid attention to what he was doing,
but he was all ready touching himself. I
stayed there for a second, and then got up to run, but he grabbed my leg. He pulled me down on the ground and raped me. We were in the backyard, so no one heard or
seen anything. I did tell my Dad about
this, and I guess my Dad said something to him.
One day I was riding my bike and I carelessly went down their street,
and he came out of his house running after me.
His boys caught up with me on their bikes, and I think they were going
to beat me up, but I started riding faster than them, and got away.
One night Dad and
Debbie got into a huge fight over Amanda.
Debbie had bought Pete a teddy bear of some sort, and Debbie was pissed
that Dad bought Amanda one as well.
Debbie was going after Amanda to spank her and Dad knocked the kitchen
table down between them, and threw a glass at Debbie, and it broke her
finger. I was actually happy that this
had happened because I wanted us to leave.
I wanted Dad to find any reason at all to get us and get the hell out of
Iowa. Little did I know I would get my
wish. I would get out of Iowa, but Debbie and her kids would be right there
with us.
I
was very much into writing stories also.
I loved the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle and Nostradamus. I created a character named J. L.
Heindrick. J.L. was an explorer and he
would go places and solve the mysteries there.
My teacher loved reading my stories almost as much as I loved writing
them. I would write really small and
take up the front and back of 10 pages or more. I would escape my bad place for
a trip anywhere I wanted through the characters in my stories. It was a way for me to do all the things I
felt like I missed out on and things I would never get to do. When you write, you get to do anything. The
possibilities are endless. Reality in your story is whatever you want it to
be. Somewhere down the line, I traded
the stories for songs. It was around the time that I started my teenage
years. Writing for me would become a
solace for the next couple years, as we moved the place I would have my
strength really tested, Green Forest, Arkansas.
Green
Forest, Arkansas was almost as dead as Mt. Ayr.
There was a Tyson chicken plant there, and most of the adults worked
there or at the school. The town had an
arcade which doubled as a dance hall for teens, and that was about the extent
of the fun. If you wanted any other type
of stimulation you had to be imaginative and creative. Jodi and Steve had moved there and Steve got
my Dad a job at Tyson’s. Dad would be working all hours and Debbie was once
again in charge. We lived in a house
that was right next to the school. The house was creepy to me, because my room
was going to be in the basement, where a well was in the middle of the basement,
and a hollow cube shaped brick “thing” was built. The neighbor kids said that someone had
drowned in that well, and that someone had built that brick enclosure around
the body. I started to sleep down there
the first night, and heard too many creepy noises, and I moved upstairs. This house definitely had a presence to
it. I woke up one night to use the rest
room, and I sat down in the living room for a second. The hall closet opened up and closed shut all
by itself. Coincidence, wind, whatever,
I couldn’t find an explanation for it.
Well, it did this about 3 times in a row! I was so scared that I slept
under the bed that night. I had several
nightmares in that house. The nightmares
centered around me being in the 1920’s and running through a field being chased
by a car full of angry men. Once
captured, I was lit on fire. I would
wake up in a complete sweat. Dad thought maybe I was wetting the bed, but it
was all sweat. We got 3 dogs while we
lived at this house. 2 of the dogs were little and they were called; Cuddles
and Bear. The third dog was part
Australian Sheppard and part German Sheppard.
Her name was Matilda. Matilda was
the best dog I had. Matilda wouldn’t bark if I asked her not to bark. She would
watch over me when I slept in a tent outside, barking only if someone came
around that wasn’t supposed to be there.
One night, Dad,
Debbie and a few of their friends went out.
I was left in charge of their kids.
We kept an iron bar across the door that led to the basement because it
also led outside through the garage. Before Dad left, all the doors were locked and
I told Matilda to let me know if anyone was outside. About an hour after they left, there was a
loud banging on our sliding door to the outside. Matilda hadn’t barked at all, and we couldn’t
see anyone out there. A couple minutes
later, the banging was coming from the other side of the basement door. No one could get in because of that bar, but
it sure seemed like they were going to.
I called Jodi, and told her what was happening, and she called the cops. The cops showed up and looked everywhere and
there was no one to be found. Not long
after they left it started up again. I
called Jodi again, and she had even heard it through the phone. Once again, she called the police and they
showed up to investigate. The cops made
me walk with them and show them where I heard the banging, we went through the
garage, down into the basement, outside the house, and no one was there. They told me not to call them again, and that
playing pranks could get my parents thrown in jail. The cops no sooner than got out of the
driveway and it started again, but I didn’t get them back in the house. I just waited it out, and eventually it
stopped. Dad checked all around the
house and never found anything or any indication that there was anyone in the
house. I personally think it was a ghost
of some sort. That is just my opinion,
and if it’s not yours I don’t care, because you weren’t there, and you weren’t
terrified for your life. There were
several kids that hung around our house, and most of them were friends of
Jennifer’s. They would be there before school and after school and on
weekends. I had a few friends too, but
they all lived way out in the country, so they were never really around other
than when I was in school. Most of the
guys who hung around were getting attention from Jennifer, so that made them
against me from the start. If they
didn’t get the opportunity to jump me before school, they would just do it at
school.
Debbie was also
entertaining some of these guys. They
would come in when my Dad was at work.
While they were in the house, they were nice to me, but the deal was, if
Debbie did them a “favor”, they would have to do her a “favor. One day before school, one of the boys tried
to get me to come outside so he could jump me, but my Dad was at home, and he
went outside and told him that if he wanted to fight “ so god-damned much” that
he would fight him. That guy left and I
don’t think that he ever bothered me again.
Dad worked a lot
of hours so he wasn’t home except for an occasional day off, and to sleep. Wrestling was a way out for me and I would
watch it on Monday nights, and I collected the action figures and
magazines. I would sometimes wake myself
up when I knew that Dad would be home from work, to ask him for a couple
dollars to get a magazine. Whether he had it to spare or not, it seemed like he
always gave it to me. Knowing what I
know now, I am sure he skipped his share of lunches or cigarettes for me to
have a magazine.
One
day Dad bought us a Nintendo. That was a great time for me. All of my friends had one, and I played it
with them, but having one of your own is a whole different situation. I would immerse myself into Super Mario
Brothers or Pro Wrestling and play for hours.
I soon knew all the secrets and how to beat the games. Neighborhood kids would come over just to see
if they could figure out how to do the tricks that I could do on those
games. We would always challenge each
other to see who could do better than you.
Most of the time, I would win on those 2 games. The main problem though with the Nintendo, is
that it would wear down after a while and you had to blow on the games, and put
them in just right to get it to work, and that was annoying and frustrating at
the same time.
One
person who hung around a lot was a guy named Damon. Damon was an on again off
again boyfriend of Jennifer’s. When they
were “together” Damon was pretty much an asshole. When they were not “together”
he was ok to be around. Damon would be a
good friend one day, and then the next day want to fight for no reason at
all. There were days when he would walk
up to me and sucker punch me in the face, and I wouldn’t even know what was
wrong. Thankfully, my jaw is pretty
strong and I’ve never been hit there and had it hurt.
I would make sure
to have the radio on every Sunday night to listen to the top 40 countdown with
“Shadow” Stephens. I would record all of
the songs I liked off of the radio so I could listen to them over and over again. Some of the songs that were my favorites
were; Here with Me by REO Speedwagon, Waiting for a Star to Fall by Boy Meets
Girl, Girl You Know it’s True by Milli Vanilli, Wild Thing by Tone Loc, Don’t
be Cruel by Bobby Brown and Batdance by Prince.
I would listen to Here with Me and cry thinking about my Mom and Dad
getting back together and us being a family again.
Wal-Mart was a big hang out
too. It was a weekend trip to Berryville or Harrison to shop. At the Berryville Wal-Mart, I met a girl
named Vicky Snow. I was playing one of
the demonstration Nintendos and Pro Wrestling was the game. I was beating everyone and then Vicky and her
brother showed up. I pretty much lost on
purpose so that her brother could play and so I could talk to Vicky. We talked for what seemed like hours, though
in reality it was only an hour or so. I
thought I would never see her again when I Wal-Mart that night, but as luck
would have it, I would. Vicky’s cousin;
Jae Leah went to school with me and that Monday, Jae Leah asked me if I had met
someone named Vicky at Wal-Mart. I said
I did, and she told me that Vicky was her cousin and wanted her to give me her
phone number. I couldn’t wait to get
home from school that day so I could call her.
Once I got home, we talked on the phone for hours. We met at the Berryville carnival and rode
rides together, and decided we would be “going out”. Everyday we would talk on the phone and
exchange notes through Jae Leah. I
thought this was great, and everything came together for a school dance we had
at our school. Jae Leah told me that
Vicky was going to go there, so I asked her to go with me and she agreed. Once there, however, Vicky paid no attention to
me at all. It was like I wasn’t even there.
Once again, Chris got shot down.
I left the dance early and went home and cried again. It was starting to seem that if any one thing
went good, it was going to be followed by two more things going way way wrong. Vicky apologized the next day on the phone
but it was pretty much the end of anything.
I had been used to people hurting me and I wasn’t going to set myself up
for that again. Getting heart-broken by
Vicky was pretty tough, but it did make Jae Leah and I friends and I wasn’t
just “that Chris guy”. I was actually someone that the popular kids knew and a
lot of them liked.
The next fiasco I
would find myself a part of, was a girl named Jennifer Norman. Jennifer had gone to Green Forest in
elementary school, but had moved away.
She came back in Junior High, and immediately I liked her and she liked
me. There was a problem, though from the
outset. I wasn’t rich. Her parents didn’t like her associating with
someone of a lower economic class. We
couldn’t go to the movies together, but we talked on the phone every night and we
exchanged notes several times a day at school.
It went pretty good for a while until Jennifer had lost a library book,
and I wouldn’t take the fall for her. I
knew my Dad didn’t have the money to replace a library book, so I couldn’t say
I lost it. Jennifer pretty much kicked
me to the curb after that. I took that
one in stride; there were no tears shed on that. I would do almost anything to please someone,
but I wasn’t going to cost my Dad money we didn’t have.
Misty Sims would
be the next and last girlfriend in Green Forest for me. We moved out into the country into a bigger
house and I had to ride the bus to and from school. I met a couple of people I knew from school,
but never knew that well. Billy Gerard
and Misty Sims. Billy was a nice kid who
never got a break. Misty was a shy laid
back girl who played on the basketball team.
The three of us became friends and then inseparable. Billy would come over all the time after
school, and I would go to his house in the morning before school and help him
get his chores done so we would have time to hang out after school. When I wasn’t hanging with Billy, I was at
Misty’s house. Her parents owned a farm
and a few head of cattle. I would go
over there and help them feed the cows, and then we would play Nintendo and
just talk. Though we were very close I
still hadn’t told anyone about the abuse that was in the past or the abuse that
was ongoing. Misty and I sat together on
the bus and wrote notes back and forth throughout the day. We always could find something or someone to
talk about. Misty’s friends were jealous
of the relationship so they would make up stuff, and I would have to defend
myself, and sometimes I would like someone else, so I would break up with
her. It was a roller coaster, but I knew
I could count on her as she could me.
The coolest thing at the time was watching her play basketball. I was on the band and I thought it was cool,
but it wasn’t like playing a sport.
Green Forest even had shirts made for the team with their names on them,
and I had one with her name on it. It’s too cute, I know, but it’s how it
was. One day riding home on the bus,
there was some bickering between one of Misty’s friends and I. I said some pretty nasty things back to her
and the bus driver sent me to the office.
The principal was ready to paddle me or suspend me, but Billy Gerard
went in and told the principal that it was he who had said the inappropriate
words. Billy took the rap for me and got
a paddling out of it. I tried to think
him, but how do you repay someone who gets his ass beat for something he didn’t
do? The Home we lived in had several
acres of wooded area, and a huge hill behind it. Billy and I would explore the land and talk
about life and where we wanted to be when we grew up. I always wanted to get away from Debbie and
Arkansas. Billy was just one of those
guys who wasn’t going to leave. When I
was alone, I would walk the land, thinking, and singing to myself. I always had dreams of just walking and
walking until I got away from there, but it was just a dream.
One
day, out of the blue, Aunt Charlene’s son and his wife showed up for a
visit. James was married and had no
kids. James’ wife wasn’t real pretty but
she had a great personality. She also
cut hair and liked the same music that I did.
While they were here, James and Jennifer spent a lot of time alone
together, and James’ wife would hang out with me. James’ wife lied a lot though. She claimed that she wrote the Def Leppard
hit, “Love Bites”, and the Bon Jovi song “Livin’ on a Prayer”. One night while cutting my hair, she kept
pushing her chest into my face. Being
precocious, I said “ If you don’t get those outta my face, I’m gonna bite
‘em.” She said go ahead, and then took
her shirt and her bra off. We were in
the bathroom at the time, with everyone else in the other room, so I was scared
to do anything. I just let her cut my
hair and when we were done, I got out of there.
Later, I told a friend about what had happened, and he ended up telling
James. James tried to make a big deal
out of it, but when we brought up the fact that he and Jennifer were always
alone together, he quickly got defensive and left it alone. James was having an affair with Jennifer and
his wife knew it, and I think that is why she was so eager to do something with
me. I don’t remember her name for the
life of me, so that is why I refer to her as James’ wife. She and James aren’t together anymore as far
as I know.
It
should be noted that during all of this time, my mom was writing letters to
me. I would write back and that was all
of our contact, except for the one time I was taken to the prison in Little
Rock, Arkansas to see her. While we were
in Green Forest, Arkansas Debbie actually wrote my mom a letter asking her to
quit writing me because it was too much stress on me. I never knew this happened. I just came home one day and the letters had
stopped. Being a kid, I had so many
things and emotions going on that I didn’t even notice at first. After a while
it did start bothering me that I wasn’t getting any letters, but I had no idea
it was Debbie’s fault.
That
summer, Debbie’s parents invited her kids to come up to Iowa for the
summer. Debbie suggested that they
invite me as well. Begrudgingly they
did, and begrudgingly I accepted. I
wanted to see some of the friends I had made up there, and hang out in the old
neighborhood, but Glenn and Jean had other plans for us. First, they said that we were up there to see
them, and not “friends”. They said that
we wouldn’t be leaving their yard. Glenn
and Jean loved to fish, and almost every Sunday we got up at the crack of dawn
to go fishing. Glenn taught us how to
bass fish. Bass fishing is fun, because
you don’t have to just stand still and wait for a bite. You keep casting out and reeling in
slowly. Jean made the best pancakes
also. Her pancakes were very thin. I don’t know how she mastered it, but her
pancakes were no thicker than a sheet of notebook paper. Glenn also liked to watch wrestling, so
Saturday nights and Sundays were good for that.
Jean loved game shows, so during the weekdays we had to watch all of the
repeats. Jean would get irate if u
solved a puzzle quicker than she did, so she was mad at me almost all the
time. It wasn’t that I was showing off,
I was just trying to solve the puzzle.
We finally got under her skin, so she let us wonder around town. I would immediately go across the street to
Damien Hurmence’s home.
Damien was a new
student in my 6th grade class, in Mt. Ayr. Damien and I hit it off right away, and we
were pretty good friends. Damien and I
would play Nintendo, and flag football all day long. Other kids from the neighborhood would stop
by and we would have a pretty good game.
Damien also had a sister who was a year younger than we were. Her name
was Laura. Laura was really cute, and I
had a crush on her for a while. Laura
didn’t like me no matter what I would do.
One day when I went over looking for Damien, Laura came out and talked
to me for a long time. I thought we had
a good time, but it was just a good time.
We talked; I acted funny to make her laugh, and probably told stupid
jokes. When you have gone through as
much as I had by this time, you start to think that when a girl gives you
attention, she must like you. Well,
Laura liked me, as a friend, at best.
Another good friend was Clint Caraway.
Clint was someone
who wasn’t very nice to me when I lived in Mt. Ayr, but this summer he was
really cool. I was hanging out at the
schoolyard playing, and he showed up. We
began playing basketball and talking and a friendship came from it. Clint’s mom worked at a local store called
“Places”. Places was like Dollar
General. Places was where everyone went
to buy anything other than groceries.
Clint and I would go to Places and get candy and Garbage Pail Kid
cards. Clint and I also made fun of his
sister, Sally. Sally had frizzy red
hair, glasses and braces. We called her
“Salamander Sally”. Sally hated both of
us for doing that, but we had fun. The
sleeping arrangements in Glenn and Jean’s house were cramped. We slept upstairs. There were three of us crammed into two
rooms. One night, while we were supposed
to be sleeping, I over heard Glenn and Jean talking downstairs. They were saying how much they hated me, and
they hated my Dad. They said how they
wished their daughter would leave and get back to her senses. For the most part, I agreed with them, but I
was stuck in their home for the rest of the summer and I was scared of what
might happen. We wrote letters home
about once a week. I found out that
Glenn and Jean were reading my letters before they went out. I stopped writing home after that.
Soon
summer was coming to a close and we packed up and went on the long drive back
to Arkansas. I had said all my good-byes
before I left and was too happy to be home.
For the first time in my life, I think I was actually happy to be in
Arkansas. Once home, I went to Billy’s
house and got him and we hung out for a bit, then I went to Misty’s house and
we spent the rest of the day together.
Glenn and Jean talked down about me to Dad and Debbie, and when Dad
defended me, Glenn and Jean headed on back to Iowa. That was the last time I would see them. Good riddance to bad rubbish, as far as I was
concerned. Debbie thought that Jennifer
and I needed jobs. She took us to Eureka Springs and had us put in
applications. I was only 13 but she told
us to lie on our applications. I got a
job at a fast food place. I worked there
for about 3 weeks and got 1 paycheck before I was caught. The boss was actually very nice and she told
me that I could get into a lot of trouble for falsifying information on my
application, but she wasn’t going to say anything, she even told me to come
back once I was really 16 and wanted a job.
I didn’t really meet anyone memorable there; I know they played Cher on
the jukebox over and over again. Every
night, it was “If I Could Turn Back Time”.
I didn’t really dislike Cher, but I didn’t really like her either, but
hearing that song all the time made me like it a little. Now, whenever I hear that song, I think back
to those 3 weeks, and I have to laugh because I was a pretty convincing 16 year
old.
I was in the band
at Green Forest Junior High. I played
drums, and still didn’t know how to read music.
There were a couple of jerks there, but there were more nice people in
there. I really looked up to one of the
senior guys, and now I can’t remember his name, but he really helped me
along. My regular circle of friends was
in band also, and the bandleader was really cool too. Whenever we would travel to other towns for
games, we could take whatever we wanted on the bus. Someone would always bring a radio and the
latest music, and we would all sing along.
I had a crush on an older girl, but she didn’t have time to like me,
because she liked the senior guy who was so cool to me. He was taken, so he couldn’t return her
affections, but that didn’t detour her.
She was convinced that she had a chance, and because of that, I didn’t
have a snowball’s chance in hell. The
flag girls rode our bus as well. When we
went to competition it was cool because if you went to the bus at the right
time, you could hide and watch them change clothes. For a teenage boy, it was awesome. One of the best friends I had there was a guy
named Justin. Justin was a laid back guy
who went with the flow. We got along
great and hung out whenever possible outside of school. Problem was, that Justin, like most other
kids, lived in the country several miles from school and anyone else. I spent the night at Justin’s one time, and
it was scary but cool. His house was way
up on a hill, and they had no running water.
They had an outhouse where you went to the rest room, if you were brave
enough to go. I think I held mine in until
the morning and then went when it was daylight.
There wasn’t much to do at Justin’s because his parents didn’t want you
roaming the land. Justin’s parents had a
leather shop in Green Forest, and right before I left, Justin had made me a
wallet. I don’t have it anymore, but I
wish that I did. It was hard leaving all
those friends behind, but I was used to moving from place to place. Another of my friends was Shawn and Stephon. Shawn and Stephon were brothers. We shared a love for pro wrestling and when I
would spend the night at their house, we would make a ring outside and wrestle
for hours. We would pretend to
be whomever we liked on TV and we
would do all of their moves, trying to win, but trying also not to hurt each
other. It was fun, and hard, but we had
great times at it. When Justin and Kenny
would spend the night there also, we would have tag team matches and make
someone be the referee and we would have tournaments. I won some, and I lost some, but had fun
nonetheless. My favorite wrestler of the
time was Sting. I would do Sting’s moves
and make them submit with his “Scorpion Death Lock”. Back to Kenny, now. Kenny Gibson was my absolute best friend
there. Kenny and I had several classes
together and we would horseplay our way through them and draw all over
everything. I only stayed the night one time at Kenny’s because it was just
Kenny and his mom and sister. His mom
didn’t like having company because she worked a lot. One of our other friends was a guy names Mike
Maybe. His name was the fodder of many
jokes and good times. Mike was a cool
guy too though. He lived with his mom,
and loved music like I love music, so we would trade tapes and walk around town
with a radio playing Tone Loc and Meatloaf.
One night, Dad and
Debbie had gone out and all of the kids were at Jodi’s house except for
me. Debbie knew I would be there
alone. They hadn’t been gone very long,
when I sensed something wrong. There was
someone out there. Matilda was going
nuts, and so were Cuddles and Bear. I
thought I could hear someone talking outside.
I was terrified! I called Jodi, and she assured me that there was no one
out there. I locked all the doors, but I
was so afraid that someone was going to hurt me. I called up Misty’s house and she had her Dad
come get me. I stayed there the whole
night and once morning got here, I had to help with the chores before I went
home. Dad said I was just being paranoid
and that there was no one out there. I
am convinced though, that Debbie had someone out there who was going to hurt
me. I hope that hurt was all they were
planning, because with Debbie, I am not sure.
It wasn’t long after that, my life changed forever. This time for a good way.
The
phone rang and it was my mom on the other end.
She was out of jail now, and she was ready to have her family back. I was excited to talk to her, but Debbie was
trying to make it as impossible as she could.
I took the call in the bedroom and talked to her for a long time. Dad was home and he talked to her too. Mom said she wanted her family back with her
in Illinois. Dad told me the news when
Debbie was asleep. He came into my room
and told me that we would soon be going to Illinois. We were going to pack only what we needed and
we were going to be picked up by my Uncle Dave.
I told one friend at school and he told someone else and soon Jennifer
had got the news and told Debbie. For
the days leading up to our big leave, my room was destroyed, my stuff broken,
my tapes ruined and my magazines burnt.
Dad tried to talk sense into Debbie but she wasn’t having it. She told my Dad that he could let me go back
there, and he and Amanda could stay with her.
She openly and honestly admitted she hated me, and that she would be
glad to get rid of me, but she wanted Dad and Amanda to stay. Dad said he was going wherever I was going,
and Debbie flipped her lid. The night we
were to leave, Debbie stormed off with her kids in tow, to Jodi’s house. Dad and I got our things together and waited
out in the driveway for Uncle Dave to arrive.
It was really late when they got here, but we loaded up as much as we
could. A lot of the tapes that I had got
left behind but we were finally on our way.
I was never so happy to see anyone in my life. I hardly slept on the way home. We stopped and got breakfast and talked and
were back on the road again. Once we
started seeing familiar sites like the Arch and then the Roxana sign, I got
giddy like a schoolgirl. The only thing
I hated was having to leave my friends behind.
Misty had written me a letter and it was probably as hard for her to
write it as it was for me to read it.
She was upset that I was leaving and leaving her behind. She said she understood me wanting to be with
my mom but couldn’t understand why it couldn’t be here. I thought everything was going to be great
again, and in ways it was.
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