Despondent

***disclaimer.... this is a work of emotional fiction***


as i lay here in this monumental moment of tranquility,
the heavy of the overwhelming thoughts are taking over me,
should i do the right thing, call a friend and lay it all out & honest,
or should i take another fucking pill until i'm cold .. and despondent..

1 just didn't do the trick,
the second didn't make me flinch,
the third may have made me drowsy,
but my nerves haven't calmed a single itch,

the .80 proof i've choses 2 help me chase them down,
has not caught up 2 the demons in my head,
so i'll keep shooting down,

why can i hear them calling into my ears,
"it's time 2 do what u most fear,
take another pill and drink my little darling,
till the pain is gone, 2morrow u'll be numb,
and yesterday will not be a memory..."

so i lay here in this monumental moment of tranquility,
i should be in bed asleep, but this silence is over taking me,
should i do the right thing, call a friend and lay it all out & honest,
or should i take another fucking pill until i'm cold.. and despondent..

i could take a walk 2 clear my head,
but my body feels paralyzed,
a symptom of these thoughts that make me wanna cry,
and i just don't have the paitence,
or the will 2 burden anymore,

i'm done ... i'm done... i'm done..

ask the audience,
phone a friend,
there's a 50/50,
this is my final answer,
2 rid this disease,
that spreads like a cancer,
26 years of tumors raging thru this broken heart,
i once was strong,
i once was strong,
i once was strong,
but some where i fell all apart.....

as i lay here in this monumental moment of tranquility,
the heavy of the overwhelming thoughts are taking over me,
should i do the right thing, call a friend and lay it all out & honest,
or should i take another fucking pill until i'm cold .. and despondent..

my hands are shaking,
the tears flowing like a flood raging from my ducts,
i'm trying 2 think, i cannot figure out,
just why in the fuck,
i alienate everyone i've ever known with fucking everything,
and i hurt, and i'm screaming out,
but nobody hears fucking anything,

don't take so many,... damn,
u're gonna fucking die,
don't wash them down with alcohol,
u're gonna fucking die,
u took too many damn...
u're gonna fucking die...
don't come 2 me crying..
when u fucking die....

all it would have taken was for u 2 look between the lines,
and ask..
why...
why..
why.
why


***disclaimer.... this is a work of emotional fiction***