tales of a 4th grade nothing

woke up again around 4 in the mornin,
my whole face is swollen,
blood all in my mouth,
i think my jaw is broken,
how'm i gonna go to school,
what will my excuse be?
instead of getting breakfast,
i'm thrown in the hall closet,
no food no water nothing but my thoughts it's,
another 3 days in solitary confinement,
tryin' to force my face back into alignment,
...what happened last night,
i can't rewind it,
i think it's my thoughts protecting me,
don't wanna be reminded,
i'm blinded in 1 eye, it won't even open,
that i could get away from this place,
i'm always hopin',
the fuck i coulda done to get it this bad this time,
i just wanted to be left alone,
no "party" this night,
but hind sight's 20/20,
i shouldn't have fought back,
and my mouth wouldn't be jacked,
and my eye wouldn't be blue and black,
10 years old wond'rin' why this is happenin,
can't understand where my life went,
and why i can't get it back again,
why'd my momma leave me,
why'd the take my daddy,
whey they forcin' themselves on me,
and beatin' the shit outta me,
i just want somebody to come lookin' for me to escape me,
before the next time they wake me,
or i pray the lord will take me,
maybe he hates me,
why else would he ever foresake me,
they told me he loved me,
but nobody loves me,
nobody hugs me,
they just beat me and touch me,
hurt me,
i really wanna get out,
i can't even open my mouth to scream,
don't matter it won't let out,
nobody notices the absent kid from class,
nobody asks questions,
nobdy even fuckin' asks,
why there are bruises,
why there are scratches and bite marks,
and scabs over scabs on all of my scars,
why i never look anybody in the eye,
and why i always look like just about 2 cry,
when i get home about 3:30,
walk in the front door,
they'll resume the hurting...